🥴: hey
🫣: who r u? how did you get my number?
🥴: eric
🫣: my boyfriend’s ret@rded lil bro?
🥴: me want fuck you, now
🫣: EXCUSE ME? First of all I’m a loyal STRICT top and second of all are you even lega-
🥴: *turn on facetime*
🫣: …gimme a min
🥴: 👍
Having a dumb as a rock gymbro bf has its pros and cons.
The pros? Big dick, huge balls, giant titties, strong muscles, fat ass, musky pits 😵💫😵💫
The cons? Same things, but he’s showing all of that for a random Chinese uncle for 10 years of good fortune.
You adopted a black kid hoping that your politician husband may change his racist tendency and support the african american community.
After a month of welcoming Jerome, a new state law was enacted: “Adopted kids are allowed to have sex with their dads”??
Your bf is a werewolf. Yes, those that turn into big furry monsters during full moon 🐺
But before sleeping w his lover, he has to follow a tradition: fuck the hairiest man in the family first (his dad)
Let’s just say they’re now expecting some puppies🫣
“ M-Mmh hey, what’s with that look on your face?”
Seems like Ace has woken up from his slumber, but that’s not the only thing that’s not awake~
Thank you so much @_elgaelNSFW for bringing him to life~ ( Please check him out he’s so underrated ! ! )
Es muy malo que el Amo se lleve trabajo a casa, afortunadamente tiene mascotas y objetos que le hacen la jornada extra más llevadera y hasta placentera
🐴: Team Rocket finally taking their job seriously? ❤️🔥
𖣠 In a desperate attempt to raise funds for their potential missions of theft, kidnapping Pokemon, and also to obtain better equipment, they kidnapped a brat! She will be a sperm receptacle for whoever can pay for it... 𖣠
Your bully gave your boyfriend 2 choices.
1. Become the condom wrapped around his BBC once and get thrown into the trash afterward (no changing back)
2. Stop your bullying
The choice was obvious, right..? However, this video you received was the outcome:
How your DIRTY PIG UNEMPLOYED HOMOPHOBIC dad sleeps after an entire night of BED-BREAKING SWEATY sex with your husband (he was drunk and mistakened your husband’s bubble butt as your mom’s, but husband is now your stepmom so that’s okay):
You: Why did you decide to become a therapist specialized in treating YOUNG ADULT MEN with severe AUTISM and mental RETARDATION? Such a weird career path babe!
Your middle-aged husband: Haha… they’re very “special” patients.
Average patients he handles:
Being a special ed tutor is hard, especially when a mom hired you to babysit her autistic unemployed manchild son. Noticed how tired you were one night, your husband decided to take over so you can rest. This is your husband’s POV when you’re fast asleep:
Your lil bro is not just a normal autistic kid, he’s an ACTUAL braindead. Whenever you have your bf over though, he always stays in lil bro’s room overnight.
“I can’t say no when he always begs for a sleepover” - your bf say, even tho this was the invite: