Paige

I'm just here so I don't get fined.

[Paige @lpragelp]

Omg the happiness I feel from watching this. No business making me laugh this hard.

[LaMorra @MorraPerriadora]

This shouldn’t have made me laugh this much

[Rock Feed 🎸 @RockFeedNet]

Josey Scott, the original frontman of rock band Saliva, has launched a crowdfunding campaign after thieves stole the tour trailer containing nearly all of the band's performance equipment.

The trailer held gear, equipment and essential items needed for live shows, according to a GoFundMe page set up by Josey Scott Productions. The campaign described the theft as "devastating" and said years of work and investment were lost. Funds raised will go toward replacing stolen gear, securing a new trailer and getting the band back on the road.

Scott is best known for fronting Saliva during the band's commercial peak in the early 2000s. Recovery efforts are underway, though organizers said a significant portion of the equipment may need to be replaced immediately to keep the tour going.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I am the President of the United States. I am at 99 percent in Israel.

Ninety-nine. They told me this on the tarmac at Joint Base Andrews. I was walking down the stairs — I take them well, everyone says this — and someone said "Sir, the Israel number came back." I said how much. He said ninety-nine. I stopped on the tarmac. In front of the plane. In front of everyone. Ninety-nine percent.

Someone on my staff printed it. I did not ask who conducted the poll. I did not ask the sample size. I did not ask the methodology. I asked the number. Pew Research — and I looked this up later, not that day, later — says sixty-nine percent. Among Jewish Israelis only: eighty-three. I said ninety-nine. On camera. In front of the world press corps. Nobody corrected me. Not my staff. Not the press secretary. Not the reporters. Nobody corrects me anymore. The correction would cost more than the number.

You know what I have here? In my own country? Thirty-five. Reuters says thirty-five. The New York Times — and these people are not my friends, they have never been my friends — says thirty-seven. I was at forty-one before the strikes. Forty-one. Then: thirty-seven. Four points. You know what four points is? Ten million people. Ten million Americans stopped approving of me because of the thing that made me eighty-three percent — which I call ninety-nine — in a country six thousand miles away. I traded ten million Americans for a standing ovation I have to fly to.

I said it at Andrews. On camera. In front of everyone. "I could run for Prime Minister. Maybe after I do this, I'll go to Israel." People laughed. The press corps laughed. I was not laughing. I was stating a preference. I am eighty years old. I state preferences now. I have said "maybe" before. Maybe I'll serve a third term. Maybe the election was stolen. Maybe means: I am telling you what I want and giving you the word that lets you pretend I'm joking.

They asked about Netanyahu. Same tarmac. Same cameras. I said: "He'll do whatever I want him to do." I said it twice because I meant it twice. Then I said he's not treated right in Israel. In my opinion. Ninety-nine percent and not treated right. That's our bond. Two men not treated right by the countries that need them most. I paid for his country's love with a war. He paid for mine with compliance. I don't need to be Prime Minister. The Prime Minister already does what I say. What I want isn't the power — I have the power from here. What I want is the ovation. The room standing. The ninety-nine in person. Not on a printout handed to me on a tarmac. In the room.

Sixty-four percent of Americans say the Iran operation was the wrong decision. That's where the thirty-five comes from. The war cost $29 billion. Military aid: $3.8 billion a year. Supplemental since October 2023: $13 billion. Round it. Fifty billion dollars. Divided by 158 million taxpayers. That's $316 per American household for my ninety-nine percent. I have never received better value. The country that paid $316 each gives me thirty-five. The country that received the $50 billion gives me ninety-nine. One got the shield. One got the invoice.

Thirteen. That's the other number from the operation. Thirteen service members. Six at a port in Kuwait. One at Prince Sultan Air Base. Six in a refueling tanker over Iraq. Four hundred and fifteen wounded. I was standing on the tarmac at Andrews — the same tarmac where flag-draped caskets come home, the same concrete, the same runway — and I said: maybe after I do this, I'll go to Israel. "This" meaning: the presidency. The thing thirteen people died during. The thing I do before the thing I want.

Fifty percent of American voters believe Israel is committing genocide. Quinnipiac. March. Half the country thinks the place that gives me ninety-nine percent is committing genocide. And my response is: maybe I'll move there. Maybe I'll run for their office. The half that thinks it's genocide and the half that doesn't — both groups are at thirty-five. They agree on nothing except that I should not be president. And I agree with them. I should be Prime Minister.

To be Prime Minister of Israel you must be a member of the Knesset. To join the Knesset you need Israeli citizenship. I am not an Israeli citizen. I looked into it. Not seriously. Seriously enough to know the answer. The answer is no. Article I, Section 9 of the Constitution: thirty-nine words. "No Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust shall accept any Office from any foreign State." I said I wanted one. On camera. On the tarmac. Thirty-nine words written in 1787 specifically to prevent this sentence. Nobody enforced them. The people who would enforce them funded the war.

No correction came. Not that day. Not the next day. Not from communications, not from the press secretary, not from legal. Because the correction would require acknowledging the preference. The preference is the policy. The policy is the war. The war is the thirty-five. And the thirty-five is why I want to leave.

The presidency is the thing I do before the thing I want. Thirty-one months left. I will finish this. Then I will go where the number is highest. Where the war I started is called protection. Where thirteen dead Americans are called a cost of friendship. Where $316 per taxpayer bought me a standing ovation and nobody sends an invoice.

I bombed my way to thirty-five at home and ninety-nine abroad. A wire transfer. I moved the approval to the country that appreciates it. The way you move capital. You put it where it compounds.

Maybe after I do this. I said maybe. I have never said maybe and meant maybe in my life.

[Mr. Gerald Wayne @MisterWayne]

THE NUMBERS DON’T WHISPER. THEY SCREAM.

Massie gained votes.

Turnout doubled.

His opponent vote didn’t grow.

It exploded.

2024 opponent vote: 12,664
2026 opponent vote: 57,822

That’s a 356.6% surge.

Total turnout jumped from 52,593 to 105,361.

Maybe it’s real.

Maybe it’s clean.

Maybe every ballot checks out.

Then prove it.

An audit is not fear.

An audit is verification.

If voters are expected to accept the result then officials should welcome the review.

Call the Kentucky Secretary of State.

Call county election boards in KY-04.

Demand a full audit of the Republican primary vote.

Ballot count.

Chain of custody.

Machine logs.

Absentee totals.

Precinct-level turnout.

Trust is earned in daylight.

Open the books.

#ElectionAudit #KentuckyPolitics

[Thomas Massie for Congress @MassieforKY]

It’s sad that a week before this election people are making false and unsubstantiated allegations about me in an obvious attempt to influence the outcome of this election.

All of the claims of inappropriate conduct are false. I’ve never offered anyone money in exchange for their silence. I report all of my farm income, including cash, to the IRS.

There are no ethics claims filed against me, nor have there ever been any claims filed against me in my 14 years in office. I have consulted legal counsel and we are considering all options.

[Paige @lpragelp]

Sure, men do disgusting things. But women who pretend to be a "girls' girl" then tear down every woman in their vicinity... They can eff all the way off.

[Paige @lpragelp]

#CNN really thought they could air a pre-recorded presidential debate and we wouldn't notice? PLEASE. Like we didn't immediately recognize these two 😒 #PresidentialDebate2024 #CNNDebate #bidentrump https://t.co/Ebawr3GT9F

[Paige @lpragelp]

@askpanera so uh, I picked up my $35 Panera order for dinner and had to wait an hour to eat it until I got back to work. Tell me how I got a chicken caprese green goddess melt that has zero chicken and zero cheese 😭 y'all it's just toppings and sauce thrown on a roll.

[Paige @lpragelp]

@rockwife111 @lawyergriffin @MandyMatney What about the attorney who pointed a gun at the prosecution table in court and said "tempting" followed by laughter? Maybe that's who should be speaking to an ethics committee

[Paige @lpragelp]

@RealityTVBliss @MeganMcClara I seriously think Sandoval is the biggest reason his marriage failed. I think him not sticking up for Katie all the time is pure Sandoval influence.

[Paige @lpragelp]

@teeejbeeej @JimOHeir They created a legendary character for him lol and now we all love him 🥰

[Paige @lpragelp]

@CoffindafferFBI This could be a very interesting case to research further @MandyMatney @elizfarrell

[Paige @lpragelp]

@jul13an I. Was. So. TENSE.

[Paige @lpragelp]

If this show doesn't get nominated for some awards, I WILL RIOT.

[Nicholas Le @itsnicholasle]

#BEEFNetflix is a fascinating commentary on how shame keeps us in a cycle of avoidance & how the projection of our flaws onto other people, acts as a mode of self delusion and preservation of the ego. A pattern that often leads to long term suffering.

a thread - spoilers ahead.

[Paige @lpragelp]

@realtirtha I'm sacrificing sleep to finish the last 2 episodes. I started hours ago with "I need something to watch, I'll see how episode 1 goes" 😐

[Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth]

If Fox News can break up with Tucker Carlson, maybe today is the day you break up that toxic relationship you're in.

[Paige @lpragelp]

@RWhiteFang @waiteswife @TheEricBland You didn't have to do Duke's like that, man.

[Paige @lpragelp]

@jasminericegirl @quakes_senpai

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Tesla founder Elon Musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange.

You'd think he was from Mad-at-gas-car.

[Paige @lpragelp]

@Chinchillazllla Can we get more bug fact threads sometime? 🥹

[Paige @lpragelp]

@MandyMatney The way Alex rapidly blinks 80 times 💀