Luke Ticehurst

Used to fold clothes, now attend meetings for a living. Over exaggerator, underused midfielder. Soon to be Tommy Fleetwood fan account.

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

Lionel Messi has just scored his 468th La Liga goal. To put that into some sort of context, it’s the same number as Alan Shearer and Wayne Rooney, the Premier League’s top two all-time leading scorers, COMBINED.

In 418 fewer games.

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

Theyve got golf booked Sunday again haven't they, the pricks

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

1) Parade Crowd Turnout discourse (sub genre of: Football Twitter discourse)
2) Commentators announcing VAR calls before the ref/pictures tell the story
3) Players going to their GK after scoring in a penalty shootout
4) Rules in August versus rest of season
5) Gary Neville

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

Parade Crowd Turnout discourse has very quickly become a top 5 football irritation for me.

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

A really long tweet just to explain knockout competitions to yourself.

Yes, you're very likely to play a good team in the final - more so in fact if you haven't played a team of that calibre en route. Yes, finals are very often won on fine margins including pens.

[Mark Brus @MarkBrusCOS]

Worth remembering that in our two Champions League final appearances we've narrowly lost to the undisputed best teams in Europe at the time - prime Ronaldinho-era Barca, and a PSG side that battered Inter 5-0 in last season's final.

Back in the day, Fergie's United got played off the park twice by Pep's Barca. Klopp lost two finals to Real Madrid and his only final victory came against *Spurs* for crying out loud.

Recent wins by United, Liverpool, and Chelsea also came via penalties. Even treble-winning City only beat a poor Inter side 1-0 and struggled to play their best football.

Yes we can improve but a bit more luck and we're 100% lifting this trophy in the next 2-3 years.

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

I've not watched a single second back of our loss to Chelsea and never will, but he's rewatching the game less than 24 hours after the biggest defeat in their modern history.

Just total pervert behaviour.

[MR DT @MrDtAFC]

Just watched the game back. Yeah, the referee needs investigating. I thought some of his decisions were weird at the time, but from the moment he gave us a corner and then decided to blow for half-time, some questions need answering.

Mosquera got booked within a minute of the restart, without a warning. Saka getting booked for winning the ball. Timber being penalised for turning his man. Every 50/50 went against us, he would award PSG a free kick minutes after waving play on for the same tackle against us. As for the Madueke tackle. I’m speechless.

I'm not surprised though when Qatar are in bed with UEFA and they are PSG's sponsor.

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

"From 30 minutes onwards" - you mean after two huge decisions going your way? So much nonsense on the ref. Thought the game flowed pretty well, Mosquera fortunate to stay on & yeah I'd have given the pen on Madueke, but even that's one he attempts to 'win' and maybe isn't.

[Rory Talks Football @Rory_Talks_Ball]

The referee from about 30 minutes onwards was bizarre, it was like he was genuinely angry at us for the way we were playing

Even neutrals around us were absolutely baffled by it, so many strange decisions, and simply refereeing us and PSG to 2 different standards

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

To do 3000 tweets and not understand Twitter is quite something

[Hugh Laurie @hughlaurie]

I offered congratulations to PSG but have not seen one gracious response to AFC, for taking it to a 4-3 shoot-out. Get some manners, will you?

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

@JackHutchi93881 @JPMc99 Nahhhh, I don't think Saka's is *really* as I hate any handballs, but, CL rules - it's as stonewall as they come. But Mendes' however, I'm 80/20 awarding pen. Get he kind of 'wins' it, but I'd argue most are like that these days. I'd have given both.

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

I mean, it's one that gets given, but Madueke hooks his arm under Mendes and throws himself to ground. Get why VAR might not give it, but they're not that sensible and in real time it's 100% a pen.

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

And sorry, that's a stonewall pen

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

@JPMc99 Just so much of this nonsense being spout, like Arsenal were there gain style points and not try to win a trophy - or like they didn't have their own game plan, especially should they score first.. I get people didn't want Arsenal, but the playing style gripe can fuck off.

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

Look, I want PSG because that's the natural way, oil clubs stick together, but there's a billion dumb cunts on this site.

Arsenal were 1 up against the best team in Europe, their strength is their defence and keeper, what were you expecting/do you understand how football works?

[Danny @DannyAarons]

Football is well and truly gone. It's a champions league final and you have a team just full on surviving for the full 90 minutes. All 11 players of their team is in their own box. This is not the sport I fell in love with.

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

@JPMc99 I agree, thought it was in both real time and on replay. But because it wasn't given, VAR sees him hook the arm and hit the deck (I kind of get it) but it's still not enough to save him imo, should have been given.

(I thought Saka's was stonewall too tbf)

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

Was just saying this to my mates in the pub

[Dale Johnson @DaleJohnsonBBC]

Cristhian Mosquera could not receive a second yellow card. It would be deemed stopping a promising attack (SPA) and a challenge for the ball. No card on a penalty.

It's like the DOGSO red card being a yellow in the same situation.

Both have a stepped down sanction. #PSGARS

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

"BAH GOD ITS CITY TWITTER ANNOUNCING LUIS ENRIQUE TOMORROW"

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

Best club in the world btw

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

I could score against Raya, he's in szimpla Kert before a ball gets kicked

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

I could score against Raya, he's in szimpla Kert before a ball gets kicked

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

Sorry, that PSG keeper can't be a hero, Arsenal win on pens

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

Punditry 5 mins before a shootout is its own special niche of nonsense

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

There's going to be David Raya Ballon d'Or shouts isn't there 😔

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

I know it's pathetic of me, and I've tweet 900 times tonight already, there's been about 70 foul throws from each team, and I'm not exaggerating

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

And sorry, that's a stonewall pen

[Luke Ticehurst @LT_34]

Yeah, from what PSG have left on the pitch, no way they win this, Arsenal's subs will be the difference.