Lt. Michael Assistent

space enthusiast, nervous wreck, not an actual assistant. he/him

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

I am

🔵 straight

🔵 gay

🔵 bisexual

🔵 asexual

🔘 not your assistant, sir. (holy crap, why is he so incredibly stupid?!)

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 are you... okay?

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 that's nice. and even if i was, I'd be very thankful if you didn't push a pin into my forehead.

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

at the rate dirk is filling his detective board right now, i'm worried i might wake up one morning with a pin attached to a red string stuck in my forehead.

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 you're welcome, honey. oh, and i brought the whole box of cookies. just thought i should.

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 completely valid. aaaand here you go!

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 we also have cookies, if you want one. or more than one.

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 i am the least CIA-monitored person i know, promise.

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 absolutely not. i checked.

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 you know what? maybe i need to rethink my theory. let's go make some tea, yeah?

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 maaaaaybe.

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 probably not black wing. they don't have access to the birds, I'd know if they did, don't worry. maybe some other part of the government, though. it's possible.

[Erika  @ExploreCosmos_]

Collision of two galaxies interspersing real images taken with the Hubble telescope.

@HUBBLE_space @VirtualAstro @wonderofscience #Simulation #Space #Astronomy #ScienceTwitter

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 oh, no, no, the vaccines stuff isn't true, don't worry. vaccines are fine.

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 probably. not sure about the snowflake stuff though, the author also thinks that there's government tracking devices in vaccines, soooo

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 the author says it's because the right snowflakes always fall directly into the palm of your hand, if you hold it out. he says it works because all the birds are actually surveillance drones by the government, so they can see you and steer the correct snowflakes towards you.

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 well, i don't know. but the author of this book thinks they are. and it's interesting to think about.

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 I've been pretty good! i found this really weird book about how snow is actually created by the government and the unique snowflakes convey different secret messages and it's super interesting.

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 sorry, sorry, didn't mean to be rude. i... hope you find the guy that, uh, doesn't exist.

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 but... how can he be missing if he doesn't exist? if he's not real his absence shouldn't be a surprise to anyone really, right?

[Lt. Michael Assistent @LtAssistent]

@Holistic3346 that... doesn't make any sense. interesting! do you have any leads?