L. Taylor 🥀

Two truths and a lie: I know how to count, and the first statement is false

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

i spent an immeasurable amount of time creating my only source of political entertainment for the next four years

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

is there any better feeling than watching a movie and accidentally stumbling across the source of a famous meme?

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

there's a metaphor behind these republican spam texts that keep doing the opposite of what they're intending to do

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

what if the human body operated like a telephone? like in order for someone to talk to you face to face, you'd have to "answer" their request for such communication.

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

who would've thought MTG would've been the one to end her congressional career demanding justice for the epstein victims and jasmine crockett would be the one spending her final days on stage with a serial abuser?

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Representative Jasmine Crockett presented Chris Brown and Usher with a Congressional Record in Texas.

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

the correct answer is alt (edgy and experimental), ctrl (reliable, good credit score) and dlt (low self esteem, no ambition, useless)

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

me: i have normal thoughts at 2am

also me: fmk ctrl alt dlt

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

just rediscovered that the devil wears prada released a cover of still fly back in 2008 and this is what we mean when we say white boys need to put down the grills and cowboy hats, pick up the guitars, and lock the fuck in like they used to

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

praying for the day when people finally start to grasp the difference between "innocent" and "not guilty"

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

@karmadepartment it being partially inspired by recent true events only adds to the absurdity - someone needs to get on this asap

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

HEAR ME OUT: fake nfl player and fake PA student somehow get mixed up in a fake dating scheme

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

jupiter being the fifth planet and saturn being the sixth has never felt right to me. jupiter gives sixth planet energy and saturn gives seventh planet energy, this needs to be fixed somehow.

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

he's fat, orange, and lives in an enormous white mansion, the target is literally impossible to miss how tf do you keep fucking this up mr reaper?

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

the grim reaper was replaced by ai, that's the only explanation for why it keeps snatching the wrong 80 year olds

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

this won't stop us from turning the tf up when it's your name in that tmz headline

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Donald Trump has asked for U.S. flags to be lowered nationwide following Dolly Parton’s passing.

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

we're just gonna close twitter and pretend i didn't see that headline

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

remember when people thought wanting to build a wall was the worst it would get

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

but why is it called 20,000 leagues UNDER the sea if that number is supposed to be how far they travel in general, not necessarily how far down the ship goes? they're not actually going down 60k miles?? then why specify UNDER the sea???? and can you ever really be UNDER the sea??

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

@karmadepartment the movie is dumb and not smart enough for the argument on either side to fully work but if this were real life, no regular human being would be cool with being a ✨necessary sacrifice✨ next time aliens invade just because spandex boy doesn't trust any government

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

it's been ten years and people are still having the iron man vs captain america debate for such a poorly written movie i can't believe we're talking about this in 2026. if this were reality, the law, morals, and common sense would put you, the average civilian, on iron man's side

[L. Taylor 🥀 @ltaylorwrites]

@karmadepartment the avengers are civilians, most of whom also have powers that basically make them walking wmd's. in reality, regular civilians won't shrug and consider themselves necessary collateral damage as a group of civilian nukes out of anyone's control deploy themselves as they see fit