Lucas Carson

RPG-inspired indie author of ‘The Misadventures of Jayna Whitman’ and hopefully many more stories to come.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

I don’t want to hear one fucking comment about ‘thoughts and prayers’ from the people whose job it is to actually come up with a solution to mass shootings.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@ShadowTodd Does this one count? I think you should do it regardless.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@ShadowTodd In the first one, Harry gets shot in the nuts with a BB gun. In the second one, Marv gets shot in the groin with a nuts with a nail gun.

They are ‘shots’ technically, but they wouldn’t have qualified for your too ten list.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@JazdzewskiTara One. Both ends are the same hole.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@JosephJMiccolis I hope there’s another TV on the other side of the room, otherwise it would suck to be black.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@CKnightWrites It’s not like you were allowed to do it when you were a kid, right?

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@jennabohenna My advice would be: it’s okay to feel your feel your feelings in times like these. There will be a later, but deal with the now first.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@GoodWit53592147 Yes, but use the liners, because you just never know.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@realeverywriter Battlefield Earth.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@MagicalOverload @WaffleHouse An Uber.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@riney_al 2

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@WiscoWriterGuy I remember seeing these a couple years ago and thinking the exact same thing!

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@MagicalOverload No.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@themattk Wtf kinda poll is this?!

How could you not include Arrested Development or Zootopia?

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@Dianaduong_ @JoVLande When you give all your attention to someone and get little to nothing in return, that’s called simping.

As the great @sWooZ1e famously said, “Simpin’ ain’t pimpin’”

Here’s the video:

https://t.co/TkxxWWa3lb

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

Me: I won’t need my old health insurance card for anything [shreds card]

Me a week later: Receives email that old health insurance company is subject to class-action lawsuit and I need to submit old insurance information to file a claim.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

There are thousands and thousands of stand-up comedy specials and comedy albums and yet Apple can’t be bothered to add a Comedy category to iTunes.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@Candy__Walter Penne pasta with marinara and meatballs.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@ohiowa89 I mention food quite a bit in my book, and the smell plays a big part, so I would say pretty important.

[Lucas Carson @lucasJcarson]

@Candy__Walter Bananas