lucy

stand up // pelotuda // she/her 🏳️‍🌈

[lucy @lucybno]

@mollyburky Like watching a caterpillar become a butterfly :)

[lucy @lucybno]

I have told this joke at every pride show I’ve been booked on out of spite

[lucy @lucybno]

Happy pride- I have a joke about how polyamory reminds me of a Greek curse where sure, you can date and sleep with whoever you want, but the catch is the only people in your dating pool are the most unfuckable people you’ve ever seen and boy does every queer crowd hate it

[lucy @lucybno]

There’s this one bathroom at work that no one uses because every time it rains these big fat cockroaches come up through the drain. My coworkers and I never talk about Cockroach Bathroom but we have all silently agreed that it does not belong to us anymore.

[lucy @lucybno]

This the type of man I should be setting my friends up with

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

The man who passed away without ever
setting eyes on a woman.

Born in 1856, Mihailo Tolotos faced a tragic start to his life when his mother passed away a mere four hours after his birth. With no father or other family members coming forward, the young boy found himself abandoned on the steps of a monastery situated atop Mount Athos. Fortunately, the monastery took him in and became his new home.

Due to the strict rules in place, Tolotos had limited interaction with the outside world and was never exposed to women, as they were prohibited from entering monasteries or setting foot on the mountain. Although male tourists were permitted, they primarily came to experience the monastic lifestyle or seek a life as monks themselves.

Mihailo Tolotos lived his entire life in seclusion, shielded from the external world, and without ever encountering a woman. Eventually, in 1938, at the age of 82, he passed away, having never laid eyes on the appearance of a woman.

[lucy @lucybno]

@garrrish Anything goes at the airport

[lucy @lucybno]

Never met a girl whose trash was not full to the brim

[lucy @lucybno]

Friday morning after NYD’s karaoke night

[lucy @lucybno]

Every time I don’t wear make up to work my boss asks me if I have been crying and I am really stupid for saying no each time bc I should be using it as a way to go home early

[lucy @lucybno]

I’m obsessed with the rva queer exchange fb group. Someone just made a call out post saying you’re not supporting BIPOC members if you criticize someone selling a broken TV for $80. Another lady let a homeless woman into her house and accused her of gaslighting. 10/10 content

[Alan Vann @Alan_Vann_]

The brilliant @lucybno is doing 30 min tomorrow at Ipanema.

[lucy @lucybno]

@garrrish Campaign staffer and congressional candidate who secretly make out when they’re drunk out scoping out the floor of the RNC

[lucy @lucybno]

Well twitter, it’s been a fun ride but I think it is my time to get off

[lucy @lucybno]

Why does an adult man have a gif of a cartoon plane in his work email signature

[Amanda Knox @amandaknox]

Girl, what are you talking about? Studying abroad is awesome!

https://t.co/xlEgCKTzqg

[lucy @lucybno]

This looks like Jim and Pam from hell

[Eric Bland @TheEricBland]

Here is a pretty good photo of Nancy Grace. She is not as fiery off the air as she is on the air. She was gracious with all fans that came up to her and asked her for photos, autographs or talk to her. She told one person who is a paralegal that she should go to law school you learn a lot about people when you’re actually meet them. EB

[lucy @lucybno]

Jody keeps confusing ‘the last of us’ with ‘this is us’ and is using them both interchangeably or calling it ‘this is the last of us’

[lucy @lucybno]

Was talking to a builder who was very pissed off at me for something that was completely his fault and I guess he had me on speaker phone in front of some of his employees because when I said “I bet you are a joy to work for” I heard laughter in the background and he hung up

[lucy @lucybno]

@francescalyn “Who’s dating we dating here?”

[lucy @lucybno]

Pov you are a tasty treat