Luke

it do not matter

[Luke @luke_olson9]

Shades of Summer

[Luke @luke_olson9]

do you think taylor hit lana’s vape?

[Luke @luke_olson9]

the laxative effect of a hobby lobby is chemical warfare.

[Luke @luke_olson9]

i’m the mouse with the given-cookie, and i’m ready to share my side of the story

[Luke @luke_olson9]

sometimes i talk back to the microwave when it beeps too many times, don’t act like you’re a perfect, flawless individual when you gaze into the looking glass.

[Luke @luke_olson9]

yeah i pour my cereal and wait 20 minutes for it to get soggy just like the rest of you

[Luke @luke_olson9]

will ferrell? worst vibe ever

[Luke @luke_olson9]

being in the same room as madison colbert would send a victorian child into a state of comatose or septic shock

[Luke @luke_olson9]

how come when i reverse in my car, my speedometer doesn’t go negative?

[Luke @luke_olson9]

just got an oil change, my villain arc is happening

[Luke @luke_olson9]

just licked mayo off a spoon like brownie batter

[Luke @luke_olson9]

if i have a son, i’m naming him JP. first name Jurassic, middle name Park.

[Luke @luke_olson9]

about 30 min into this titanic movie thing and i’m really liking these jack and rose characters, nothing bad better happen to them

[Luke @luke_olson9]

the blue scooby doo gummies were a gateway drug

[Luke @luke_olson9]

@kleptodub thanks, i love sprite!

[Luke @luke_olson9]

*society takes a collective sigh of relief as civilians move beyond the urge to wrap every household ceiling in LED light strips*

[Luke @luke_olson9]

hot take, complaining about being single on valentine’s day is an immediate ick

[Luke @luke_olson9]

does going number 2 count as breaking the seal?

[Luke @luke_olson9]

ppl that still comment about how hard it is to put on fitted sheets are the worst

[Luke @luke_olson9]

not naming it over the bush was a missed opportunity

[Luke @luke_olson9]

is there a phobia for being scared of acapella groups? because i think i have that