Luke Petrig

[Luke Petrig @luke_petrig]

@Jer_Bear71

[a guy @apiecebyguy]

What kinda barbershop is this...?

[Luke Petrig @luke_petrig]

You can talk all the shit you want about me bringing sea creature fruit snacks to work but in the end who’s the one with the fruit snacks

[Wu-Tang Financial 🥑 @Wu_Tang_Finance]

😭😭😭

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

Mind Blown yet today? How about: The *thirteen* letters of “eleven plus two”, when rearranged, also spells “twelve plus one”.

[Luke Petrig @luke_petrig]

@clairdontcare Not sure if I’d be more comfortable if this was her own foot or someone else’s

[Luke Petrig @luke_petrig]

The main reason you should practice fire safety is so that you don’t cause a fire while I’m in the bathroom

[Phlegm Clandango @Cain_Unable]

My 4yo just said "Daddy, why do people make up things that their children have said for social media? Isn't it just inherently dishonest & indicative of an inability to construct a compelling narrative themselves?"

[Luke Petrig @luke_petrig]

What Mom thinks I do vs. what I actuallly do

[Luke Petrig @luke_petrig]

@Jer_Bear71 @BleacherReport @MikeKlis Took em to the playoffs before, he can do it again

[Luke Petrig @luke_petrig]

@Thee_DANimal ❤️

[Luke Petrig @luke_petrig]

Wondering if somewhere far, far away there’s a Twitter that isn’t full of college kids complaining about the life they chose

[Luke Petrig @luke_petrig]

For all you @rmhsfootball fans #FTF https://t.co/rewdTWZYdO

[Denver Broncos @Broncos]

Double coverage?

No problem.

#AZvsDEN https://t.co/u9RvaPgtOl

[Luke Petrig @luke_petrig]

Saw an Alaska license plate yesterday so I’ve already done more than any of you will all week

[Luke Petrig @luke_petrig]

Madi just gave me a spoon to eat mac & cheese so obviously we’re going though a rough patch now

[Because I'm a Guy @CauseWereGuys]

This is hilarious https://t.co/Lc0ibz4fBJ

[Luke Petrig @luke_petrig]

@Madi_Batten You're taking for granted what everyone else in the world strives for

[Philosophy Muse @philosophy_muse]

It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is. Desiderius Erasmus