Lukey Lawless

He/Him/Hi! Not sure what exactly I’m supposed to be doing! (On this site / in general)

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

@HaterReport We’re being trained to disbelieve our eyes.

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

@fifamedia @FIFAcom So… Rigged? The whole thing? Because… we WATCHED

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

So… that “magic chip” that sensed the feathery touch of a Croatian cowlick somehow … didn’t notice when the ball hit the overhead cam and ricocheted straight down to assist an English goal? Is that the official #FIFA postion?
#NORENG #WorldCorrupt

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

@CantEverDie Thank GOD the DNC swooped in to make sure it's voters didnt do anything irresponsible, and we all livedhappily ever after.

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

@joshgroth @AlexJayBrady @CantEverDie this is SUCH a dipshit blue maga line.

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

Considering downing a bottle of Tylenol tonight in solidarity with all the neurodivergent homies

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

Sometimes it feels like advertising has lost its ‘edge’… then other times you watch Meg Ryan cum from eating mayonnaise #SuperBowl #WhenHarryLIXSally

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

We all know that famous “showing the audience love” salute! And to those pushing that take, I offer you this traditional gesture of respect!

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

Man… Imagine if the Obama who gives speeches had showed up when it was time to be president? Woulda really been something.

[Secular Talk ([email protected]) @KyleKulinski]

Debate time y’all here come the candidates

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

Democracy in action BABAAAAAY!!

[Roy Drones Jr @chiweethedog]

Presidential debate

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

Be fun to see the Central Park 5 buy a full page ad calling for the the Death Penalty for anyone with 30+ felonies.

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

@POTUS Ladies and gentlemen, Luke Bootlicker

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

It’s ALMOST as dangerous to work at Boeing as it is to fly in one.

[Lauren McKenzie @TheMcKenziest]

NO FUCKING WAY

[Read Raising Expectations (and Raising Hell) @JPHilllllll]

I can't believing I'm saying this, but Aaron Bushnell's last words were just read live on CNN.

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

Even the Super Bowl commercials feel like reboots now.

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

@Teslaconomics The timing of this would be PERFECT for another goggle-piloted self driving car to take him out at the knees at the end of this clip.

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

@mehdirhasan If this in on the table, could someone please move to deport MTG to the Pacific Garbage Patch? Is that a possibility?

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

@jonfavs @mehdirhasan Almost makes you think Joe Biden shouldn’t have run again

[Lukey Lawless @lukehsimmons]

@BrianLehrer the Strawman arguments that @SenGillibrand makes it “not an option” for me to vote for democrats this year.