Luke

CAN! RUN! TWO! MILES! PER! DIIIIEEM!

[Luke @lukejrg]

"Living in your dreams is like living in exile."

[Luke @lukejrg]

My coworker was walking towards his car this morning, I asked where he was going and he said:
"I'm going bowling! It's slow, there's no work today. I told (boss) I'm not working! I'm going bowling!" 😂

he on strike

[Luke @lukejrg]

Elevator interaction with a child holding loads of stuffies
Child: "I have a lot of stuffed animals"
Me: "I can see that!" *notices Vaporeon plush* "Ooh, is that one Vaporeon?"
Child: "No, it's just a Pokémon."

Boooyyyyyyy

[Luke @lukejrg]

I'm procrastinating cleaning my bathroom ... by cleaning my kitchen

[Luke @lukejrg]

It's called fashion, sweaty.

[Luke @lukejrg]

@pimbothegreat I am never prepared enough to see Ramesh just absolutely devastating that watermelon. Gets me every time😂

[Luke @lukejrg]

@pimbothegreat there's another watermelon task in a later series. no spoilers tho 🙂

[Luke @lukejrg]

@pimbothegreat which one tho

[Griffin's Cool 2018 Tweets @griffinmcelroy]

.@realDonaldTrump Your fried

[Luke @lukejrg]

buckle up and drive me crazy

[Orville Peck @orvillepeck]

I just woke up and I don’t even know what to say

[Luke @lukejrg]

Me: I'm never getting tattoos related to a real person ever again incase they end up being trash and I can't cover the tat

Also Me: Damn, Orville Peck's whole shit is awesome and I want a tat of him

[Luke @lukejrg]

why is it that the days i have the most productive energy are only on days with animal crossing events?

[Luke @lukejrg]

@dejectedarr I'm SUPER lucky cuz I took over Greg's lease and I only pay 960 for A 1 BEDROOM!
There's a similar place available in my building for nearly 1500 🤪 I can never ever move

[Luke @lukejrg]

so.... spurs aren't cowboy heelys?? rude

[Luke @lukejrg]

@dejectedarr not quite this, but the other day i forgot i had a mask on and went to blow a hair off my phone screen. blasted myself in the eyes 😆

[Luke @lukejrg]

@dejectedarr @SoundlyAv 👏call👏them👏out

[Luke @lukejrg]

i'm on that orville peck train anD I AM NOT GETTING OFF ANY TIME SOON

[Justin “Hoops” McElroy @JustinMcElroy]

fucking wear a fucking mask you fucking fuckos

[Gators Daily 🐊 @GatorsDaily]

ITS FLAT FUCK FRIDAY!!!!