luke

twitter

[luke @lukenewto]

@xxStevenBondxx @estherk_k I liked the Thomas Crown Affair remake

[diane arbys @milfmaladjusted]

I’m listening to the new Cameron winter solo album and can’t help but feel like he’s re-eating his own nachos … a lot of these songs frankly noticeably derivative of his previous record

[fareed @it_is_fareed]

Your bird thinks cash is king

[azu #FreePalatinate @azu2137]

I will not “lock in”. I will not “looksmaxx”. I will not “ascend”. I will not “cold approach”. I will wait for a woman to initiate something. And if that doesn't happen? I kill myself.

[Master Cheeks @WiggerMaggot]

Patient zero of the “bleed from every orifice and puke your guts out” virus heading straight for the nearest international airport

[azu #FreePalatinate @azu2137]

Liberal posters during #1848twt:

❗️❗️🔥🔥THE GRAND DUCHY OF TUSCANY JUST PASSED A CONSTITUTION🔥🔥❗️❗️

❗️❗️THE GLOBAL ARISTOCRACY IS FINISHED ❗️❗️

[Ernest Strawfield @FKAGEORGEY]

*door slams*

Indy: listen kid I’m too drunk to drive this is on you

Short round: but doctor jones I can’t reach the accelerator

Indy: I made you wooden blocks at the bar take these strings too

Short round: okie dokie dr jones I’ll try my best

Indy: I love you short round

[john @johnsemley3000]

The Beatles do not get their flowers for being a great band. I walked to the gym and back today and nobody was listening to or speaking about the Beatles. not a Beatles shirt or Beatles hat in sight. it’s like they’ve become lost media, the Beatles.

[Evil Man @evilkaratesk8er]

The Stavros Halkias Meal at McDonald’s, or, as we call it, The Menu

[Anti-kun🌹🇮🇶☀️ @HellFire80085]

Soviet Astronaut: "Errm save the planet and shi"

Stalin at the Aral sea:

[luke @lukenewto]

@bittersteel196 There’s gonna be a crazy Balerion vs Shaggy Dog showdown in A Dream of Spring (which WILL come out!)

[luke @lukenewto]

@tauntifer it’s a pl’bowl

[Marcus @Dewndeym]

Ball and gun gamer who only plays metroid

[they/them might be giants ☭ @babadookspinoza]

Driving is perfectly safe as long as you see death as a natural part of life and the beginning of a new mode of existence.

[Tony Turner @tonytiger67]

That warning message made me jump. Almost dropped my disposable barbecue and gallon of petrol.

[luke @lukenewto]

@nocontextfm1 It’s Wakefield for England, not Plymouth

[Buck @Buck36043Buck]

You’ll already be Suicidal and then it will be 80% Humidity Outside

[ِ @synszo]

Every few years a solar eclipse happens and every time they be like “this is the first solar eclipse since 1734”

[Epic Wallpapers @Epicartworks]

.