LukeTheRunner

I run a lot. Sometimes I make crosswords for the New York Times. Disregard my tweets—if you want to be entertained follow me on Strava.

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

I’ll be honest, when they announced ABS at the beginning of the season I said “nice, it’ll only take a year or two til they go full robot umps” but now that I’ve seen the challenge system in place I think I want it forever

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

@bumpasshelll It’s always stormy in Tillamook.

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

@stevemagness I’m also anti-stretching…but do you think doing poorly in sit and reach might also correspond to having long legs and short arms…which would also be an advantage in distance running? Probably to more of an extent than “stiff springs”. Feel free to roast me if I’m off here.

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

Hope everyone loves normal pictures of cats, where he’s not possessed and is just a normal cat who won’t cause retinal damage

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

@70s90s Was it literally the Fresh Linen glade plug-in

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

I just want @kenmore to give me one million US dollars and they can have full use of this tweet

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

@perfectlyfine89 In (American) HS German my teacher just randomly gave a few people in the class German names. She would say “Hi Luke, good morning” and then to Mike “Guten Morgen, Herr Mee-Shy-Ell!”

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

@AndersonBobo_ That happened at Pre one year. It’s like the announcer was told “you’re only allowed to talk about jumps for five seconds, NO MATTER WHAT.” And then the entire crowd is electric about every single long jump and the announcer has to be like “now checking in athletes for the 3k.”

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

@willnoon Good news: it’s actually almost 8 months

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

I’m not diagnosed but if I went through the last three years of the group chat and put all the “crying laughing” emojis in a spreadsheet and crunched the numbers to prove I’m the funniest does that mean I’m on the spectrum

[Steve Magness @stevemagness]

Many elite distance runners have horrible flexibility.

They can't come close to touching their toes.

Why? A stiff spring can be beneficial.

Some research found the worse you do in the sit and reach test, the better your running economy.

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

Chris Fleming has the most specific niche audience possible (complimentary)

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

@lachancenaomi27 https://t.co/Kbf0eQQs9u

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

In the UK ass is donkey and arse is butt, but in the US ass is donkey or butt. So if you say a guy’s an ass and you’re talking to a Brit, you gotta specify whether the guy was acting stubborn like a donkey or acting stinky like a butt.

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

I was gonna google What does the sweeping do in curling But I don’t want the surveillance state to judge me

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

⚾ REPOST TO WIN ⚾️

It’s Muny’s birthday and we are celebrating by giving away a signed baseball! For a chance to win an autographed Andrés Muñoz baseball just hit that repost button.

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

⚾️ REPOST TO WIN ⚾️

To celebrate Julio’s birthday, we are giving away a signed baseball! All you have to do is hit that repost button to enter!

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

@pants Why do I hear “lil what?” In falsetto

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

Stephon Castle has to be the most annoying player in the League (complimentary)

[LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner]

fascism srsly wtf