Loonatic

Norwegian Dommy Mommy | 24 | Monogamous | Taken | Artist | 🔞minors DNI 🔞
18+

💕 my puppy: @FenkPup 💕

[Loonatic @lulnahtic]

Whole bunch of content coming up on my OnlyFans! Feel free to subscribe and get to see a beautiful trans girl today~!

https://t.co/u418ieSXsr
#OnlyFans #Trans #AD #Porn

[Loonatic @lulnahtic]

@affiliatesgg If it's guaranteed daily in my account. I'll quit for good, that's enough extra income to get a lil daily luxury, or a new game, or something to distract myself daily to take my mind off gambling. Yea I think id last forever

[Loonatic @lulnahtic]

Genuine question @nikgeneburn @tarkov. Why does PvE access cost extra, yet PvE players are excluded from a lot of content and updates. It seems like you hate the gamemode, even though it's brought a ton of people back to tarkov, and back to spending money on it. Crazy to me.

[Loonatic @lulnahtic]

@HighStakesHugs Man you can not frame this as paying huge on a $25 bet. That total win isn't even enough to cover the cost of buying the bonus XD

[Kingpilled @kingpilled]

GPM

[🦋 fairy 🧚‍♂️ @thisdecfairy]

“what if it’s a girl?”

my man and his friends:

[Loonatic @lulnahtic]

@KesuraFurr

[Loonatic @lulnahtic]

@LvSpectrum Not you Matiss. Not you.

[Loonatic @lulnahtic]

This is what I need to put you in, isn't that right~?

[Kay :3 🔜 MP @SexyServal]

Poor thing still thinks she can escape~

📸 @shorkbyteshard

[🍁 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓕𝓸𝔁 𝓛𝓲𝓯𝓮 🌾🦊 @TheFoxLife]

🐾

[Evil Cryptid from the woods @Obamalover32]

*sniffs your armpit* ew you stink...... *sniffs your armpit* *sniffs your armpit*

[Loonatic @lulnahtic]

These are the most bought and paid for judges I have ever seen in football. Good to know it's just a scam

[Counter Strike moments @CSmomentsss]

When you lose 8 games in a row and see this

[david @_fart__9]

Dear Italy in Sverige we have this thing called fryspizza that you put in the ugn at 225 grader for femton minuter

[Loonatic @lulnahtic]

Thank you so much for finishing my art @privvysart I love how all of the pieces came out in the end, and I will for sure be coming back for more down the line!

[Loonatic @lulnahtic]

@ohyikes123 @LvSpectrum mf stop using alts

[ruthie @probablyabott]

need more trans friends who are *friends* and not poly people looking to expand into new markets

[Ivy 🩵 @Ivorygh0st]

Grinding your cock on a girl's face underneath her glasses

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.