Carlson

I don't remember the world ending. I'm trying to find my way home.

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

Someone is helping me. I don't think she's supposed to. I'm still not sure why she stopped.

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

I found another camera. I think this is where I am. The tower appears in nearly every feed. I'm also beginning to suspect time isn't behaving the way I expect it to. I don't know where I am. I'm no longer certain when I am either.

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

I think I've accessed their security systems.
The cameras.
I'm staying off for a few days to keep it secure.
I don't want them to find out.

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

I don't know what happened. I found a terminal. Is anyone listening?

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

I asked someone where I was.

They looked at me like I should already know.

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

My name is Carlson.

At least that's what it says on my uniform.

I woke up somewhere I don't recognize.

There are pieces missing.

If you're seeing this, I could use the help.

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

@TheRealLavaLisa 🚔🏃‍♂️🏋🏼‍♂️🏈

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

@yoboizyt This is the police.
Are you insinuating you acquired this item illegally? I'll bring you to justice by the usual bread or by my own jam. Whatever it takes.

#LBC

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

@Wendys This is the police.
Your question is harassment. Instead ask if you could consider the notion of kissing on the roof of the VR Wendy's.
#LBC

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

@Entropyowo With chocolate milk? This is a crime.

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

@livosophy This is some good wisdom to season your brisket.

#LBC

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

@Skittles @SourPatchKids This is the police.
I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of candy fails, when you forsake your friends and break all bonds of fellowship, BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY.
#LBC

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

@SeeAndrewCreate @LoganPaul @elonmusk It is incredibly difficult to keep my head down. I don't have a neck. Plus, Lunchbox Cop holds his head high against all adversaries despite the odds.
This garnish always lands on top. 🥬
#LBC

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

@BeaufortCoSchNC This is the police.
What is for lunch tomorrow?

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

@SeeAndrewCreate @LoganPaul This is the police.
The moon is involved?? I've had my eye on @elonmusk , but frankly I didn't think Mr. Paul had the wits for such a scheme. What is it? Death rays? Mining? Colonizination? I don't think I could handle the United States of Paul... They must be stopped.

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

@Wendys This is the police.
I don't see what Dave's relationship status has to do with this. He's been through a lot this year after his big toe reconstructive surgery and doesn't need us celebrating his singelness with a mighty discount.
#LBC

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

@lavaboxlabs Does "NFT" stand for nougat-filled truffles?

#LBC

[Carlson @LunchboxCop]

@BillPoo76884290 Hello, do you need the police?