Lun Dog

we're really doing it though, aren't we buddy?

[Rep. Jack Kimble @RepJackKimble]

Don't jump to conclusions and assume the WHCD shooting was staged until they've had a chance to read any bullets left at the scene

[Anonymous @YourAnonNews]

Downed US pilot interviewed by Fox News

[Lun Dog @Lundog]

@2tittiesrfun Money that coulda been spent on startups- hate to see it

[sgp @stogolp]

Hey @ChickfilA Open the F*ckin’ restaurant on Sundays, you crazy b*stards, or you’ll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah

[Jon Aguiar @JonAguiar]

We spent the last 9 months raiding Home Depot parking lots instead of arresting anyone from the massive network of Iranian terrorist cells?

[𝕷𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖋𝖊𝖗 @LucifersTweetz]

We live in a country where an alcoholic from Fox News runs our military, a former heroin addict is in charge of our health, and they both report to a convicted felon.

What a time to be alive.

[paul bassett davies @thewritertype]

It's only a pre-emptive strike if it comes from the Preemptif region of France, otherwise it's just a cynical justification to start a vainglorious war with no coherent endgame.

[Derek Thompson @DKThomp]

Even if you take the conservative defense of each ICE killing, you’re left with “We haphazardly scaled up a poorly trained police force to storm into neighborhoods that voted against the president, where we antagonize the local population until someone resists arrest, and then we kill them,” which is morally horrendous on top of being an absurd way to do immigration policy.

[Mike F @DeputyWarlock]

cops are always like "can you tell me why you were going 90 in a 55?" and you have to explain to them that it literally gets you there way faster. just goes to show the guys who fail at math end up as cops.

[brent @murrman5]

[covering phone while on hold with a radio station trying to win hinder and saving abel concert tickets] what is it sweetie daddy’s working

[Lun Dog @Lundog]

@atdanwhite This is how I find out I got kicked out of the groupchat??? 😟

[Lun Dog @Lundog]

@2tittiesrfun What are you going to do with all your spare time after you retire from fantasy after this season?

[Lun Dog @Lundog]

@MyFantasyLeague URGENTLY looking for one owner to take over last team of a 16team bankroll auction league - SF, TEP - $80

Team has $748 current bankroll going into preseason Free Agent auction with $450 rookie money coming before the 2025 rookie auction.

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

Got my daughter a pony for her sixth birthday. No one told me the average life expectancy is 40-50 years. She’s off at college now so I spend a lot of time just riding this cute little dipshit around the backyard thinking of her. Honestly it’s the highlight of my day.

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

Got my daughter Lacee’s beautiful face tattooed on my calf for her fourth birthday (she’s my angel) but it got severely infected when I went to a water park 3 days later. Thank god my tattoo guy Bryce (a true artist) at ‘Zombie Ink’ was able to salvage it.

[Lun Dog @Lundog]

@kevin_smedley 🎶 Hes a joker, hes a toker, hes a turkey smoker 🎶

[Lun Dog @Lundog]

@__gritz__ Link to your etsy store so i can buy this? #takemymoney

[David Burge @iowahawkblog]

Why are you so nervous? There is literally no outcome that won't be completely hilarious

[Rianna | X103.9 @FueledByRianna]

“You’re a naughty boy because you eat all my crunchy berries”—- Eva to @Lundog (she’s the one who ate all the captain crunch 🤣🤣)