bates

retired teenager. furniture historian.

[bates @luxatron]

Postscript for @RuPaul

I woke up my husband at 3 am to ask him his thoughts on this. I also asked my lawyer this morning and he said “Bates, I’m an estate attorney”.

P.S. You’re like the ultimate human sunflower, blooming with fabulousness and spreading joy like pollen.

[bates @luxatron]

I have a important question for @RuPaul:

I woke up in the middle of the night with Cover Girl in my head wondering if the cosmetics company ever came after you for copyright infringement.

I researched and didn’t find anything. Were you safe because the song name is two words?

[bates @luxatron]

Scrimshaw Klezmer. It took till I was 37 but THAT is what the @TheDecemberists are.

[bates @luxatron]

@bustelo4babies Come join the chosen people. We got great food, amazing grandmas, all the gold, and no hell.

[bates @luxatron]

@bustelo4babies …is it THAT ONE

[bates @luxatron]

@bustelo4babies Ugh. That room is so pretty. Moody Victorian Luxe is what I’m calling the vibe.

[bates @luxatron]

@bustelo4babies Introduce them to each other so they can have an infinite toxic texting circle jerk?

[bates @luxatron]

@bustelo4babies These are my fave.

Yeah bud, why AREN’T we friends anymore? Here’s a handy screenshot that might jog your memory

[bates @luxatron]

This is a joke for @StevConrad, @arp_dept and no one else.

My dog Grandpa loves carrying lemons around and protects them like they’re his children.

[bates @luxatron]

@bustelo4babies @burnettski92 Night? Just one? And what about the daytimes?

[bates @luxatron]

@bustelo4babies Is this specifically about Xanax because I asked my shrink the same thing.

[bates @luxatron]

@bustelo4babies Shut it down. Can’t continue with Christmas. It’s ruined. Go home. Go to bed.

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Winter. She took some selfies for a new profile picture. Really hard to narrow it down when you only have good angles. 13/10

[bates @luxatron]

@bustelo4babies He is correct.

[bates @luxatron]

Why would anyone listen to Manheim Steamroller when there’s Trans-Siberian Orchestra?

[bates @luxatron]

@arp_dept That’s a really fuckin big bus

[bates @luxatron]

@arp_dept Why do our phones like to make little movies with emotionally manipulative scoring that undoubtably documents the lowest points in our lives. AS A TREAT?!

[bates @luxatron]

@AntifaGeneral3 @bustelo4babies ‘A truth that’s told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.’

-ALSO FUCKING WILLIAM BLAKE.

[bates @luxatron]

@taco_mama Then may the lord (me?) have mercy on your soul.

[bates @luxatron]

My 2 year old nephew asking the Big Questions.