lexi varga

I have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair

[Max @trashp0ster]

If Jesus has SB commercial money he needs to pay taxes

[lexi varga @lvargs_]

@DonovanPannell2 Controversial yet brave*

[lexi varga @lvargs_]

It’s 2023. Let me vape on the plane.

[ICHIBAN BABY @DemiCaruso]

I prefer the term dangerously optimistic

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

me: I’m so exhausted I am totally maxed out I just cannot handle a single more fucking thing I swear I will CRACK

also me: we should get a puppy

[Dee Snider🇺🇸🎤 @deesnider]

People are asking me why I endorsed the use of "We're Not Gonna Take It" for the Ukrainian people and did not for the anti-maskers. Well, one use is for a righteous battle against oppression; the other is a infantile feet stomping against an inconvenience.

[lexi varga @lvargs_]

Me: I can roll with whatever
Also me: I’ve said “are you fucking serious?” At least 25 times and it’s not even 12
Conclusion: I’m a fucking liar

[lexi varga @lvargs_]

How do I nicely tell my patients it’s too early for them to be trying illegal shit?

[lexi varga @lvargs_]

It feels criminal to leave work when it’s still light out

[lexi varga @lvargs_]

The pharmacy next door to my work stole my lunch and then lied about it. In short, I’m 24 and bullies stole my lunch.

[lexi varga @lvargs_]

I bonded with a beta fish at QMart.. I have no self control and will be going back for him

[lexi varga @lvargs_]

Who tf in Bethlehem is refusing to treat these roads..? I just wanna talk.

[lexi varga @lvargs_]

@DonovanPannell2 Scandalous. I know.

[lexi varga @lvargs_]

*going to the OB to get my new birth control*
MA: “have you been abstaining from sex?”
Me: “no..that’s kinda why I’m here..”

[Dabeeddd @davidroseteee]

Exactly enola holmes (2020)

[lexi varga @lvargs_]

*trying to act normal on my way to the bathroom after taking Ambien* *puts shorts on backwards and runs into a wall* nailed it.

[jayde i. powell @jaydeipowell]

raise your hand if you have left a job because of a toxic environment and/or manager.

🙋🏾‍♀️