Lil_vitious

throw kindness like confetti

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

That's a real gem - and it's 100% true

Your mushrooms can make Vitamin D for you.
Mushrooms have ergosterol. When you put them gill-side up in direct sunlight for 30-60 mins, it converts to Vitamin D2.
It's not D3 (the best form), but it still counts.

Free Vitamin D. Just add sun.

#FoodFriday 🍄☀️

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

@amerix > Your health is the only asset you freely own. Everything else can be taken away.
>
> Eat right. Avoid what harms your body. Live clean.
>
> Let's take care of ourselves while we still can.

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

@s8n

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

@AAAAA4A4AAAAA POV: your throat just told you "see you in hell tomorrow" 💀
That ka-swallow that tells you flu imeingia kwa system na hakuna kutoa.

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

@TheTweetOfGod 114-1 is a bigger beating than they gave most Premier League teams in the last 10 years 😭

Arsenal / Liverpool / Man Utd:*
> We’ve been saying it for years. The league was 114-1 financially too.
> Strip the titles.

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

@nioscarl @amerix Mind plus 💪💪💪

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

> The meeting could have been an email but the idea to get paid more for doing less needs a full board meeting with Einstein

> We cracked it: Act busy, reply slow, and let the intern who loves working overtime do it 😭

> Current status: Overthinking how to under-work.

*4. If you want to plug your business/hustle smartly:*
> This is literally me and my coworker until we discovered solar.
> Now the sun does all the work and we get paid. 😂

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

"I’m not funny and people don't get my jokes so I call them low-IQ

> My friends can't understand my hyperbole either. I tell them I have a million problems and they actually start counting.

> Real ones know:
> Humour is the ultimate IQ test.
> You can't fake getting it. You either click instantly or you don't.
> Cosmetic friends laugh 3 seconds late

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

@s8n GLITCH MODE: ON 🟢🔴🔵
reality buffering...#glitchart #aesthetic #trippy #datamosh #glitch

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

@amerix I think I don't even appear on the graph

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

Mitochondrial biogenesis mode: ON. Don't call me. 😴That's the most accurate weekend plan.

> My couch and I have serious plans. Don't disturb us.
> Weekend budget: 0% outside, 100% blanket burrito
> At this age, going out is sleeping in. The club is this couch.
> Your body does its best repair work when you do nothing. Rest is part of the protocol.

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

This one is elite 😂 bread and bodybuilder are twinning.

Here are captions for X:

*1. The banger:*
> Tell me why this bodybuilder and this challah bread are built exactly the same 😭💀,,,, My guy is literally built like bread ,,,Gym bros will see this and say "carbs are protein😄😄😄😄

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

@s8n Fun add-on: Kant was so punctual on his daily walks that neighbors in Königsberg set their clocks by him. One day he was late because he was reading about the French Revolution. The whole town panicked.

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

Men don't ruin women. They reveal them.

Tell a woman to drink, she'll drink. To smoke, she'll smoke. To steal, she'll steal. To hide drugs in bread and smuggle it into prison, she will do it and call it love.

That's not love. That's zero logic. Gullible follower mentality.

Same reason an obvious idiot can win an election promising women "freedom" — they will believe anything if you say it with confidence.

They are not evil. They are just children with adult bodies.

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

When mum says "clean the house" = torture, punishment, slavery

When nobody asks and you just decide to clean at 2am with music on = therapeutic, main character, you own a cleaning company now

This is exactly why that "I'm in I will try" hits different — doing it because YOU want to, not because someone nagged you >>>

You want me to make a version for your situation? Like:

*"Hugging is lowkey fun when no one has to beg you to do it"*

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

@amerix The Raw One (most viral):*
> 101 days left in 2026.
>
> You have 1 day to decide who you’ll be on day 101.
>
> Sit down today. Write it. Plan it. Start tomorrow.
>
> No more illusions. Just work.
>
> #ManDay #100Days

[Lil_vitious @LVitious30378]

@s8n This is literally every one of us on a Monday. You do the math and realize you'll retire in 2066