Lauren Wray

👽🌸•Life’s too short, let’s laugh together•

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

Why yes, I’m sexually attracted to all the red flags you’re giving me. Please proceed to ruin my life.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

Peeing at concerts has to be one of the worst experiences ever. #teamhover

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

I forgot what it was like loving you. And now this is the only place I want to be.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve been laid when my nail tech starts giving me butterflies with his light hand touches. Sir, stop unintentionally turning me on😩

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

I had to delete Tinder for my own sanity. Just a cesspool of desperate dudes with their shirts off looking for a quick lay.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

Veggie pizza > meat lover’s

I stand by this statement.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

If someone looked at my news feed they might assume I’m a middle-aged, obese man because of the amount of holiday cooking videos I’ve saved in the last few days.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

This last episode of @Stranger_Things just gave me goosies, nerds.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

I saw a crossing guard and group of kids playing “Red light, Green light” with her handheld stop sign and it was the most wholesome thing I’ve seen in awhile.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

I’m at the age where my life goals have shifted from having a big family and coaching games, to owning a mansion with lots of dogs and traveling the world. Priories are certainly straight now.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

When he tells you he listens to podcasts, but internally you’re thinking, “please not Joe Rogan. Please not @joerogan” 😩🤞

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

I don’t chase, beg, or entertain excuses. I disappear like you never mattered.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

I’m back on Twitter (X or w/e the f*ck) for the first time in years and I’m ready to be like:
Dear Diary,

And spill my deepest, darkest thoughts out.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

I feel like a dude, just aimlessly swiping right on Bumble bff, hoping to get a match. Someone be my friend😅

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

For me, having a bad day means speeding home to face 2 joints and then pig out on food. Feeling kinda crazy, may include gummies.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

Cancelled minutes upon arriving, Airbnb refused to use AirCover and said it’s in the host’s hands. Host was offended I felt unsafe and stole my full amount of $605. I didn’t stay a single night. Stay in HOTELS! THIS SERVICE IS A SCAM.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

@AirbnbHelp Do NOT use this scam of a service. Airbnb was not the same as listed. It was a private room when listed as an apartment unit. Female host was not present. I was alone with a male. No keys, only a garage door opener for the basement I was supposed to stay in.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

People frequently ask me what made me move back home from Denver & the moment that sticks out is my 30th bday when I got a topless lap dance. Not sure if it was a positive or negative but I finally said “ok I’ve had enough” 😂

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

People with tattoos don’t like the extra attention they get on their tattoos. Why?? You got them to be displayed.

[Lauren Wray @lwray11]

Living out west means trying to justify to yourself that the beautiful views are worth it, when in reality it’s the people that surround us who make life beautiful.