big allison

...and I said “that’s not a filing cabinet, that’s my sister!” @clydecker1

[big allison @lydeckeral]

one time (a thread):

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Not emotionally prepared to log back onto the darkest corners of the internet tomorrow (Teams, Outlook, and Excel).

[໊ @P0PKULTURE]

might be the funniest thing i've seen in a long time

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

two stages of reading:

1. ​i’ve read 5 books in 3 days.
1. ​i have not read a single sentence in months.

[ᴘʀɪɴᴄᴇ @justprince]

it’s always something new with these mfs 😭😭

[Matthew Zeitlin @MattZeitlin]

i'll be honest i didn't see him at first

[David Rattigan @davidmrattigan]

buying this and then dying immediately and forcing my descendants to finish building it over the next 100 years

[Minnie @saintdutchess]

It’s only day one of this wedding and already I’m sick with envy.

[Softboy @softboywin]

I think smartphones are ruining our lives but also if I had to go to the airport in 1998 with just my wits & a subway map I’d kill myself

[mariana Z @mariana057]

Due to the high cost of energy, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

I’m missing the 2010s frozen yogurt boom like a b!tch right now

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

food and drinks consumed in a movie theater doesn’t really go into your body. it goes into your movie theater body which is separate & holy and harm-proof

[Alex @alexxmalloy]

everything about dua lipa’s life is like she rubbed a genie lamp and got all 3 wishes. she’s naturally gorgeous, always on some type of dream vacation, and met her husband bc they were reading the same book. for my mental health, i have to block her

[bri @bribrisimps]

oooo look at me i’m dua lipa im gorgeous and a talented singer and im on lush vacations all the time and i have a hot british husband who i met because we were reading the same book and on the same page did i mention i read a lot and i also have a podcast about novels im going through bc im well rounded and educated

[Stella @StellaaSports]

this sentence was never meant to be said

[soup🍓 @thrluv]

there are 40 grams of protein in listening to women

[mi’asia 🤎✨ @glowinasia]

i personally love watching sketches where they break character on snl cause that’s HOW IKKKK ITS FUNNY😭 plus seeing people laugh about it makes the sketch 10x funnier😭

[𝓐𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷 ☆ ☆ ☆ @desi0re]

I love when a man is funny

[nile @nileandah]

this is my version of an egot

[Cartoons Hate Her! @CartoonsHateHer]

I will never have a friendship like the one I have with my brother.

[alli @sonofalli]

so grateful the rain stopped just in time for the work week