Lyle Newman

WAPP (wanting a party pie) 💕

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

I just walked real slow off a bus so a man running for it would make it and if that doesn't make me the best person idk what will

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

@gorsebloom Jan is my mum! She isn't on twitter but she just sent me a screen shot of your tweet which she thinks is 'very nice' and was thrilled someone would tweet about her poems about sheep. Bit cute 🐏🐑🐏

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

Trumps last day is here! I hope he isn’t having a shared morning tea farewell with his team or if he is every single person brings a bag of chips and it’s proper rubbish like him

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

I just had to pull a piece of grass out of my dogs butthole like a 2 minute noodle. How’s your Friday night going?

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

Sexy trans Tasman bubble @jacindaardern @ScottMorrisonMP 🙏🙏🙏

[mankrik's wife guy @byelacey]

brings back this gold tweet from 2 years ago

so??? what are you 🎃

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

Today I had a nap for my main course at lunch followed by absolutely no regrets for dessert. 11/10

[Rowan Plz @rowanplz]

Unfair that evolution gave wings to moths that disintegrate at the mere thought of touch from another living thing.

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

So it's the Olympics this year? Is it to late for me to enter?????? #Tokyo2020

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

@RoySymonds63 Hi, It's Lyle here from Celebrity Speakers we have a speaking brief for you a regarding February event and Vicky Allison has sent an email to Laura. Hope to hear back soon. Thanks Andrew

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

Can someone please tell me how in the heckin' hell my dad is running a successful business let alone getting through life when this is happening to him??? Phone in the fridge????

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

If you ever feel like you are under achieving, just remember that last week while I was burning my mouth on molten party pie mince my mother was printing out and holding her PhD thesis in her hands for the first time.

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

Oh look, a song title I have never and will never be able to relate to so long as the universe exists

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

@deliagrape_ U did survive. Well done

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

At a comedy show on the weekend sitting next to a lady with straight blonde hair & i shit u not after the show she turns to me and goes "do you know what I just realised??? We have the exact opposite hair!" Thanx hun #blessed

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

Fran was just telling me about a tv show I should watch and I asked how many seasons it has and he says "Oh yeah it's all set outside so you can really see the weather" .....??? if there isn't a smooth transition from winter to spring count this gal out??

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

Is it healthy to have an unfathomable obsession with squirrels and their fluffy little tails? Asking for a me.

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

@Lukeurmyson Colin Craig is da baibe

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

Found this pic again and it absolutely necessary to re-share it for the good of human kind.

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

Has anything ever been cuter?! (Apart from me, obvs)

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

❤️💔❤️

[Lyle Newman @lyleyoh]

Just poached an egg and honestly nothing has ever represented me more

[Jacinda Ardern @jacindaardern]

What has happened in Christchurch is an extraordinary act of unprecedented violence. It has no place in New Zealand. Many of those affected will be members of our migrant communities – New Zealand is their home – they are us.