Sierra Lewis

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

It’s not even 9am. I am on my second beer at an airport bar that is absolutely BLASTING Jonas Brothers music. Time isn’t real.

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

“It’s more afraid of you than you are of it”
I think you are underestimating how afraid I actually am

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

I just miss my fucking dog

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

Someone asked me yesterday what brand of vodka we have for the wedding……sir, I promised you free booze not good booze. Don’t ask me anymore dumb shit.

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

People keep reminding me how close the wedding is and I’m just like yeah, I’ve been stressed out for 2 months but thanks for the reminder 🙃🙃

[sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 @cottoncandaddy]

my dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is

[Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91]

The anxious urge to say "no worries either way" when you are actually worrying both ways plus a secret third way

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

My ABSOLUTE FAVORITE part of the holiday season is getting out this little penguin toy I have that sings and dances and watching my dogs freak the fuck out over it every year

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

I am the worst about showing people unprompted pictures of my dogs but honestly if you don’t enjoy unprompted pet pictures we shouldn’t be friends anyway

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

I told Kodie that one of John Wayne Gacy‘s victims had been identified recently and he said “who is John Wayne Gacy?” I might have to call off the wedding this is too much

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

@rudynoah I was going to ask how your trip is going but I guess I won’t 😂

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

Making our guest list and I’ve decided that me and Kodie are not allowed to make any new friends in the next year because that shit is getting out of hand 😂

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

Got an email saying my device was compromised and that the sender had been watching my every move and would release all my data unless I pay them in Bitcoin. If they’d really been watching me they would know I have no idea how to get Bitcoin and am way too lazy to look it up 😂

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

If I had a dollar for every time a customer asked me if I had the winning lottery numbers when I ask if there’s anything else I can help with, I would probably have more money than the average lottery winner

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

I am so stressed we have something to do literally every weekend from now until the end of August I miss quarantine when we did nothing and it was fine

[thomas 🍌 @perfectsweeties]

me: hello i would like some spinach. just a normal amount for a normal person

grocery store: yea right. bet u love spinach u little spinach freak. here's a fucking brick of spinach. a literal bathtub full. u have 3 days to eat it all before it goes bad

[Sierra Lewis @lyn_sierra]

I literally answer back to back phone calls all fucking day for a living so when my friends and family have the nerve to call me when they could’ve texted I am immediately pissed off

[Lexxx @shortyyy_macc]

Me, every time Seth Rogen tweets, “I made these vases”