ap

skeptic, poutine connoisseur, 1/2 marathoner, #1 fan of my own jokes.

[ap @lyshpatterson]

Honestly, I have beef with any adults that perform at a children’s concert.
We’re here for the kids not the 5th “teacher feature” aka middle age woman act in this 1/4 of the recital🫠

[ap @lyshpatterson]

@kaitc_o Lolllll this screams big Sharon energy

[ap @lyshpatterson]

Watching @RHOBH for the first time and on season 3. Really not sure why everyone loves Kyle so much she’s so awful/such a pick me in these early seasons especially to her “bff” Lisa

[ap @lyshpatterson]

Unfortunately at the age that I no longer recognize songs in the hits 1 radio station 🫠

[ap @lyshpatterson]

Husb watching kingdom of heaven.
7yo asks what it’s about.
Husband says “he had leprosy and he led his army with only 500 knights to slay over 20000 men and won the battle”
7yo “oh did he win because he had leopard skin and ran really really fast?”
🤣🤣🤣

[ap @lyshpatterson]

@kaitc_o Unfortunately I know who big x tha plug is because Shane listens to him daily 😞

[ap @lyshpatterson]

Like stassi’s 11 year old brother is clocking her and calling her out but somehow the public loves them? 😬😬

[ap @lyshpatterson]

Watching @VanderpumpRules for the first time, half through season 5 and know that in present day everyone dislikes schena and loves stassi but stassi, Kristen and Katie are the awful ones???? Wow.

[ap @lyshpatterson]

Trying to explain the Beckham/peltz lore to my husband so I can send him all the funny shit online instead of blowing up my one other chronically online friends phone #MatLeaveProblems 🤪

[ap @lyshpatterson]

We believed we were booking with @HiltonHotels did not receive confirmation email because @guest_res entered the wrong email address. Now stuck having to pay 179$ for park and fly ON TOP of hotel when we could have chosen a different hotel that did park fly and go. Scam scam scam

[ap @lyshpatterson]

@guest_res inquired if this Hilton did park stay and go, guest reservations confirmed yes, confirmed shuttle to the airport and confirmed price in CAD.
So we book.
Check in, no park stay and go, no airport shuttle and charged in USD guest reservations refuse to refund🤡

[ap @lyshpatterson]

@kaitc_o This is def big Kait energy

[ap @lyshpatterson]

@SkinCeuticals Advertises free travel size etc with ANY purchase but the $400+ kits don’t count? I’ve tried to purchase with various kits and none of them qualify 🤔😒

[ap @lyshpatterson]

It just took five scrolls on my iPhone to get to my birth year when downloading an app so incase anyone was wondering, no I’m not okay.

[ap @lyshpatterson]

Postpartum and seasonal depression is wild because here I am at a winery with my husband and Cheryl Crowe is playing yet I’m tearing up and trying not to cry????

[ap @lyshpatterson]

Me after making my husband a bacon and tomato sandwich with all store bought items “ya this trad life isn’t the life for me” 🤡

[ap @lyshpatterson]

@Gap given that literal baby sweaters start at $59.99-89.99 what exactly is 3$ supposed to get anyone??? 🤔

[ap @lyshpatterson]

Okay but is Trey Yesavage the MLB’s Josh Allen??? 🥹🥹

[ap @lyshpatterson]

Not the ruff ryders anthem on the organ #WorldSeries

[ap @lyshpatterson]

@GreatWolfLodge Literally can’t.