alyssa

original berf, it’s a collectors item • she/her

[alyssa @lyss_heldman]

I yell at the tv during house hunters like dedicated sports fans do during football games

[alyssa @lyss_heldman]

i bet Billy Evans real mad rn

[U.S. Department of the Interior @Interior]

He got it from his mama.

Bear 89, aka Backpack, is the 2026 Fat Bear Week champ. Turns out hefty runs in the family.

His mom, Holly the Duchess of Density, won in 2019. She carried him on her back as a cub and helped him survive a serious leg injury. Now her little Backpack has a crown of his own. 👑

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

Honky Chonk Beardonkadonk⁣⁣

[alyssa @lyss_heldman]

Ezra and Dani are my number one clients tysm

[faberry gothel @forkoffubiatch]

I got pregnant and I didn't want the baby so my show choir teacher's wife tried to get my baby because she was pretending to be pregnant but the plan miserably failed when my teacher found out she is lying and later my baby got adopted by the biological mom of the girl I bullied.

[KIKILEE @leanwdafanta]

Dolly Parton you changed my life when you picked a lock with your acrylics in Hannah Montana #RIP

[𝓷𝔁𝔂𝓲𝓮 @glooomiii]

he said i’m a star in his valley, i said baby that’s what i dew

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Thank you dc :)

[Grace Cathedral Park @gracecthdralprk]

Frankly Taco Bell has built up a lot of goodwill from me. I forgive them

[Mack V. 실험ᵥᵢᵢᵢ 🟡⚙️ VTuber @TheMackV]

@tacobell We #BackTheBaja in this household ✊

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

Not now kitten. Mommy’s busy looking at a menu online for a restaurant she might be going to 2 months from now

[Capital Weather @capitalweather]

Holy cow! This may be the weather photo of the year.

Double rainbow, orange sky over Nationals Park Friday evening.

Absolutely amazing capture by Alex Warofka

[alyssa @lyss_heldman]

baby woke up at 5:15. not very “first Mother’s Day” of him but ok I guess

[BBL Grizzlies @thiccenloans]

what if we kissed in the r/summerhousebravo Ciara/West/Amanda Rumors Megathread Part 5

[lee ⭐️ @evrys3counts]

happy oscars day!

[liz the damn season 🍂 @lizaboth]

And for the lady, perhaps a plastic baseball helmet full of ice cream?

[alyssa @lyss_heldman]

he said “no” because he’s “allergic” smh

[alyssa @lyss_heldman]

drunk texting my husband “can we get a cat?”

[ESPN @espn]

VIRGINIA UPSETS NO. 8 FLORIDA STATE IN DOUBLE OT 🤯

QB CHANDLER MORRIS WITH 5 TOTAL TDS 🔥