Law Goblin

poisonous shrew from hell. public defender. lawyer for babies.

[Law Goblin @lyssamy]

I hear all your nuanced defenses of the constitutional basis for the right to counsel and you're right but I, personally, became a public defender because I love to do injustice, seed disrespect for the law, and unleash danger on the community

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

NEVER let your printer know you’ve waited until the last minute and you’re in a hurry, because it can sense fear.

[soup🍓 @thrluv]

instead of "sugar, spice & everything nice" i was made with "salt, defiance & extreme noncompliance"

[boob dylan @BYUsupersoaker]

its gonna be a Hunter Biden summer (staying away from crack and reminding others that nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes)

[mariana Z @mariana057]

Due to the high cost of energy, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.

[Robert Anderson @ProfRobAnderson]

Judges are rightfully outraged by counsel citing fictitious cases. We are officers of the court. We don’t cite non-existent cases; we twist real ones into non-existent meanings.

[grovy @grovymango]

happy pride to ppl who are not straight. this includes bad bitches with scoliosis

[tanya @Tanya_Sabrinaaa]

talk to your doctor about wegozil. shout at your doctor about blarpo. whisper with your doctor about cixyl. show your doctor the sign (👌🤦‍♀️👏) for flonartil. laugh with your doctor about wexadry. email your doctor about drongle. glance meaningfully at your doctor about floova

[Hidden in Frame @HiddenFrame_]

In "The Odyssey" (2026), Odysseus speaks with a Boston accent, despite being from Ithaca, which is in New York.

[doomer @uncledoomer]

imagine you and the other scheming vizier have your hopes of installing a puppet regent utterly dashed when your liege's bride at long last bears a male heir.

[April Clark @autogynefiles]

(threatening Dracula) Try that in MY house, bitch. Wait. Fuck

[Keeks 🦋 @DietCoke_Esq]

No babe I love spending time with you

[Oliver Traldi @olivertraldi]

To settle a troublesome discourse, I have provided here the most faithful and poetic possible translation of the beginning of the Odyssey.

We male sex. We
complex. We

fake horse. We
off course. We

sail long. We
hear song. We

pig crew. We
home soon.

[Erin Price-Wright @espricewright]

If you're a naturally anxious person, I recommend pursuing a high stress career path where at least you'll be compensated for anxiety you're going to have anyways.

[masha @masha_slp]

“what that mouth do?” argue bye

[゛ ☆ .ᐟ ⋆ @veinIuvr]

and for the lady, perhaps a fucking break

[໊ @soysabil]

ah yes, the three genders: the broken, the beaten, and the damned

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

I like to protect myself against any possible AI accusations by writing such unnecessarily dense and impenetrable sentences that Judith Butler herself crawls through my window and gently lifts my still-typing fingers from the keys.

[e-bride-za @thefemiurge]

my most extreme non-ideological position? Supreme Court Justices should have to take a vow of celibacy. i just think it'd be funny, very game of thrones

[. @LAHXLLUClNATlON]

not her greedy ass releasing new variants during Hantavirus debut week... she's not a girl's girl

[jezz @JezziiB]

‘Women are adopting AI at lower rates than men.’

Yeah, because we aren’t f*cking fools.