Alyssa Neumann

loves a spicy chip.

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

I yelled “I love your dress where did you get it?!” at someone at the Ripped Bodice Brooklyn opening today, only to find out an hour later that person was Casey McQuiston

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

Who is he??????

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

Uhhh. Can someone please explain why there’s a little guy on the grapes I got at the grocery store?

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

Wildly humiliating to be sitting next to a couple on the subway wearing head to toe lululemon carrying a tote bag full of JUST lettuce

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

Even if you don’t care about the World Cup, we can all appreciate these mostly white, rich, smug, European men having their asses handed to them.

[Jessica Ellis @baddestmamajama]

Mary Oliver poems are so amazing because you’ll be like “I feel bereft and hopeless and so alone” and she’ll be like “ok, but have you ever really thought about moss?” And it turns out you haven’t.

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

*sobs*

[New York Metro Weather @nymetrowx]

Sunset in NYC on Saturday is at 7:01pm. The sun won’t set any later than 7:00pm in NYC again until March 14th, 2023.

[Wizard Cal 🕯️✨ @MageOfSolitude]

Sir, that's my emotional support five copies of the same book

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

My mom & pop pharmacy staff know me by name and usually whisper the obscenely high cost of my copays to me. Today they were shocked bc my copay was $0. And then I whooped and told them I hit my out of pocket maximum and we all celebrated.

[Mark D. Levine @MarkLevineNYC]

Major new housing survey shows there are virtually no apartments available for rent in NYC at less than $1,500.

Latest sign that we desperately need to build more truly affordable housing.
https://t.co/R5X1p5tE6o

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

There’s a celebrity at JFK trying to be incognito with a hat and sunglasses, but buddy, you’re missing the easiest disguise, a mask.

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

Wild to be the last unmarried person from my high school church friend group, at age 27. Except I think my ex-bf? There’s a plot to a romance novel in there somewhere.

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

Tea ✅
Soup ✅
Books ✅

Ready for ❄️

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

A man just pulled down his mask to pick his nose in the airport and I’ve never been more over this pandemic

[Goth Brooks. @joshuabohnsack]

Some news!

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

@GabrielUrbinaTM Oh no! So sorry to hear this Gabriel. Hope you get better right quick!

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

Literally as I hit send on that tweet another tourist asked me for instructions

[Alyssa Neumann @lyssaneumann]

Just helped an Italian tourist navigate the subway. Nature is healing

[Zoe Tokushige @zoetokushige]

Things got a little out of hand when the giant snakes were summoned