alyssa scholten

calvin college//"What dazzles God isn't our accomplishments, it's our love." -BG

[alyssa scholten @lyssarie3]

"I need God to consume me more than my life currently does." Wow. That's some powerful stuff 🙌🏽

[Ben Rector @benrector]

If I ever open an Italian restaurant I’m going to have the Parmesan man/woman come by several times after the initial time.

[Ben Rector @benrector]

Me, just now: Jane, if I were you, I’d eat that ice cream a little slower so you don’t get a brain freeze.

Jane: I am Jane. You are not Jane.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

5-year-old: How long do I have to be five?

Me: Until your next birthday.

5: But I'm done with it now.

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

If you do your spring cleaning in January, guess what you don’t have to do in the spring. Anything.

[Bob Goff @bobgoff]

Love cares more about who's hurting than who's watching.

[Millennial MD @Millennial__MD]

Normal people: That restaurant looks nice, let's go there.

Me *17 pages of reviews and three hours later*: My commitment to evidence based decisions shall never waiver

[The Tonight Show @FallonTonight]

.@taylorswift13 reacts to a never-before-seen post-surgery clip. More with @taylorswift13 on #FallonTonight!

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

Why are you the way that you are?

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

Michael: What flavor is it?

Ryan: Blue.

Michael: Blue is not a flavor.

Ryan: It says, flavor: Blue Blast.

Michael: Oh, Blue Blast.

[Bob Goff @bobgoff]

Love more, not less.
Will you take a hit?
Of course you will.

Do it anyway.

[alexa @alexadoingstuff]

when i hear a girl say something negative abt herself in the bar bathroom

[holly @sh3woosme]

why hasn't james corden told each of one direction that he wants them to do a carpool kareoke w him individually n then just go n pick them up one by one until they're all in his car, put the child lock on so none of them can escape and then they just like?? idk make up n sing???

[Dan Kaufman @D_Kauf11]

60 years into the future*

Grandkids: “Grandpa what was the most annoying thing that ever happened to you?”

Me: The day U2 illegally put one of their albums on my IPod

[FloCollege | Volleyball @FloCollegeVB]

Matt Anderson is on a whole new level🤯

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

3-year-old: Why do you eat salad?

Me: To be healthy.

3: Does healthy mean sad?