Molly Cullinan

If you don't want to date me- that's fine, I get that, but you're wrong and I hate you.

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

Are eyebrows illegal in Scotland

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

The Star market in south Boston will be the reason I kill myself

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

Enough

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

If I ever pay $12 for a mocktail just fucking shoot me, it’s juice jfc

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

Nothing funnier than watching Uber drivers go the wrong way and then shake their heads as if there wasn’t an app telling them exactly what to do and they just fucked it up

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

White boys who put Buddhist for their religious beliefs on dating apps are so unserious. Like you took one religious studies class in college, Tyler, you’re not seeking enlightenment

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

“Year in review” instagram reels are the new Spotify wrapped. You won’t catch me posting either

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

Unfollowing anyone on Instagram who posts a photo from a turkey trot

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

Why are you as a man on line for a port-a-potty

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

My mom not answering my FaceTimes doesn’t sit right with me

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

When my Lyft or Uber is like “it’s 2 min away” and I look at their literal location and am like that is actually 8 minutes, I feel like Magellan

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

IM ABOUT TO HAVE AN EPISODE

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

Really excited to stress drink tonight while watching ND play! My blood pressure has definitely been a little too low as of late

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

Someone has to say it so I will- not everything needs a fucking “thread.” I am sick of seeing 🧵on my feed- I’m here for the funny shit and memes only

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

My friends: stop hooking up with him, he’s not nice to you
Me:

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

Nothing more infuriating than watching housewives and one of them orders a steak well done. Grow up

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

Don’t talk to me before I’ve had my morning pickle juice

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

Immediately no

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

What is it about getting in a car that makes men want to take a selfie

[Molly Cullinan @mCulLzZ]

How do I explain to people on the highway that if a cop has someone pulled over, they cannot also pull you over so please stop slamming on your breaks