Michaela

I peaked in high school

[Michaela @m_salamone]

Quarantine day 10:

[Michaela @m_salamone]

@AndreasPBaby what are you doing in my swamp

[Michaela @m_salamone]

Three (3) different people at the bar last night stopped me to tell me I look like Alix Earle. Don’t see it at all but I already love 2023☺️

[Michael Benjamin @mfbenji]

Sending “happy new years” in iMessage and my phone adds fireworks

[Miley Cyrus @MileyCyrus]

#MileysNewYearsEveParty

[Michaela @m_salamone]

things you can do besides going to SantaCon at 30 years old:
1. open a 401K
2. start a family
3. establish a skincare routine

[Michaela @m_salamone]

I just got my nails done at a new salon…the owner chased me out the door as I was leaving because they were giving out free bananas. NYC is so weird

[Michaela @m_salamone]

had one too many cosmos last night and i wake up to this in my most recent search history

[Post Malone @PostMalone]

🖕🏼 F U Hole

[Terry Boo @IIamameeve]

me in the presence of nerds gummy clusters

[Michaela @m_salamone]

probably shouldn’t have impulsively blurted out “sorry officer i was changing the song” when being asked if i knew why i was getting pulled over

[Michaela @m_salamone]

seriously nothing irks me more than when an uber driver slams on the breaks at a yellow light. like SIR, YOU COULD HAVE MADE THAT

[Michaela @m_salamone]

dopamine hit: leaving the dude who picked on u in high school on read

[Michaela @m_salamone]

checking in on my good friend @jaredboba today… #RENAISSANCE

[Michaela @m_salamone]

like is this really necessary

[Michaela @m_salamone]

Happy Fourth of July to everyone except the people who pitch tents on the beach

[Michaela @m_salamone]

“when they go low…we go high” ✨

[Michaela @m_salamone]

:/

[Michaela @m_salamone]

she’s a 10 but only types in lowercase letters

[Michaela @m_salamone]

yvette and i are out rn in grey sweats looking like gym teachers