Me buying a $3 coffee at my neighborhood cafe 2 weeks ago:
-- not frugal
-- wasting away my retirement
-- lazy
Me buying a coffee now:
-- heroism
-- single-handedly bailing out the small businesses of America
-- Nobel Prize in Economics
The perfect quarantine schedule,
4:00 - Wallow in self pity
4:30 - Stare into the abyss
5:00 - Solve world hunger (tell no one)
5:30 - Jazzercise
6:30 - Dinner with me (I cant cancel that again)
7:00 - Wrestle with my self loathing
The media: “CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC IS GETTING WORSE EVERYONE PLS WASH UR HANDS AND QUARANTINE URSELVES DON’T MOVE WE’RE GETTING CLOSER TO THE END“
Millennials on our way to the airport cuz flight prices dropped: