maura

having my septum pierced is my only personality trait

[maura @maauurra]

mentally, i am here

[🏆 - jason 🦥🪐 @spongebobsloth]

shirtless svech the man you are, happy father’s day to HIM.

[r @6ffside]

they really stood ten toes down for their rapist goalie only for him to make history with the worst goaltending performance the stanley cup finals have ever seen

[Chantel @SensFanNL]

AHAHAHAHA

[. @playboicurrryy]

saying "are our" in a sentence

[Savanah Tujague 🇺🇸🇦🇷 @savanah2j]

🚨 SOUND THE MFING SIREN 🚨

[r @6ffside]

our only hope

[maura @maauurra]

@femmebot2000 right….

[itsy bitsy spider @stxvxn_8381]

people begging for my banana bread recipe as if I didn’t just google banana bread recipe and click a link that seemed legit

[SPANE 🇪🇸 @SperrysandNikes]

As a grown man, I’ll never be fully honest about my favorite dessert, because it’s dirt and worms. You can’t say that when you’re an adult. So I just say chocolate chip cookies and move on

[oatmeal influencer @acechhh]

explaining to my son the concept of jax taylor turning 47 this year

[Tom Smyth @Tom_Smyth_]

ban it from showing the people i went to high school with what they’d look like as a cartoon character too while you’re at it

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

Cricket’s revenge.

[Alexandra Lains @realalexlains]

Military Spouses understand the job their spouses sign up for.

But, if my husband was one of the soldiers killed, hearing the President respond with “that’s just the way it is,” would send me into a fucking rage.

[😱 Scary Larry 😱 🇺🇦✊🏻🇺🇸🗽 @aintscarylarry]

THERE IS NO FUCKING SITUATION ROOM AT MAR-A-LAGO. THERE ARE MOLDY-ASS BEDBUG-INFESTED ROOMS, BUT THEY ARE NOT THE FUCKING SITUATION ROOM. THAT IS IN THE FUCKING WHITE HOUSE. IMAGINE IF JOE BIDEN PLANNED A WAR OUT OF SOME FUCKING ROOM IN HIS HOUSE. REPUBLICANS WOULD SHIT BLOOD.

[mau 🏒 @sidmeowsby]

he’s directly confronted with proof of the white house turning him and his hockey into a political prop but he’s too stupid to realize it

[🥔🏒 @liltaterhockey]

“I’ve never seen a goaltender play as well as Connor Hellebuyck -“

Okay so her name is Aerin Frankel and he let in as many goals in the gold medal game as she let in the entire tournament and she has a hell of a side gig as a salad-based influencer.

[baby bell 🦋 @bellasdaze]

im sorry but you don’t get to party with the feds and then whine about how everything is sooooo political like knock it off now it’s ridiculous