Jordan Macfarlane

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

Never will I forget the time I let a taxi driver charge my drunk self £130 for a taxi back from Glasgow

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

Is there anything worse than coming home from a holiday and not having another one booked 🥲

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

Honestly get me on holiday pronto

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

Not used this since it was called Twitter 😅

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

I’ll need rolled home from Italy at this rate

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

@leaghrose_ Saaaaad☹️☹️☹️☹️

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

What a beautiful day for me not to be able to go a walk 🙂

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

I fucking love Adele, what you see is what you get #AnAudienceWithAdele

[The Sun @TheSun]

Dog owner on crutches spends £300 on vet bills for limping lurcher - only to find out he was simply copying him

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

Sorry but how am I so hungover it seems unfair x

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

Anyone else look straight into the toilet and bath to check if there’s a spider before doing anything? Just me ok

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

My 9 year old sister referred to herself as pansexual cause she “doesn’t mind what gender she marries” and this open mindedness is the way it should be 🏳️‍🌈

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

Finding #Maid really hard to watch, it shows the extent to what abusive relationships can do to you. Stay safe everyone.

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

Was telling my mum about #TheSquidGame and she asked if it was a reality show hahahahaha

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

Put tingle cream on my legs for the sunbed and rubbed my face after without thinking and I think I’m dying

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

Would sell someone my soul to pick me and holly up from Stirling train station today xxxxxx

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

God sake that was too emotional for a Friday night 🥺 #LoveIsland

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

@leaghrose_ @georgiaas00 Hahahahahahaha

[James @JSBowyer]

Mabel can we go for a chat?
#LoveIsland

[Jordan Macfarlane @macfarlanee]

@leaghrose_ @S_Tafara1 Canny cope