sammi d

adrenaline junkie in search of her next hit

[sammi d @macklesam]

im regressing back down maslow’s hierarchy of needs. safety and physiological needs type beat

[sammi d @macklesam]

i love getting cheeseburgers from this liquor drive thru/gas station/auto repair shop/restaurant that keeps them in a rotating pretzel warmer. call that a multi-hyphenate hamburger

[sammi d @macklesam]

every time a friend says “omg my matcha is so good today! you gotta try it!” i try it and what does it taste like? grass. lawn clippings. every single time.

[sammi d @macklesam]

spiritually i have busty naturals

[sammi d @macklesam]

has anyone tried hitting the fent lean on a segway? i’m curious about the speed capabilities but i don’t do drugs

[sammi d @macklesam]

idk why but i don’t consider birds to be wildlife. like if you tell me there is going to be wildlife at the function and it’s only birds? im gonna be a little pissed

[sammi d @macklesam]

help what’s the name for a nonbinary karen?

[sammi d @macklesam]

at what point of adding salt/tajin to a drink or the rim of the glass does it become a soup?

[sammi d @macklesam]

and listen, do i wear the bucee’s tshirt my mom got me? do i have stickers of his stupid face on my water bottles? that’s between me and whatever god is listening. bucee may have lost the war for my soul but he did win a couple battles

[sammi d @macklesam]

every time i see signs for that fuckass beaver i think, “this time will be different” and then i am deeply disappointed every single time. such a mid capitalistic hellhole

[sammi d @macklesam]

every time i see signs for that fuckass beaver i think, “this time will be different” and then i am deeply disappointed every single time. such a mid capitalistic hellhole

[sammi d @macklesam]

yall are cooking your food to make it crispy bc it feels good i am perfectly executing the maillard reaction to deepen the flavor. we are not the same

[sammi d @macklesam]

there are two types of people in this world the glizzy gladiators and those who get gladiated by the glizzy

[sammi d @macklesam]

when i ingest a certain fungi i really have to focus on what people are saying to me because their eyes nose and mouth are doing the hotel hallway thing on their face which is a lot to take in

[sammi d @macklesam]

next time i fall for a coworker somebody just slap me to snap me out of it

[trevy @chillextremist]

Daily affirmations:

I am chopped

Time is running out

Everything is my fault

I will die alone

I am an amc stubs a list member

[sammi d @macklesam]

one time i met a blue man and he said they all kiss each other in the makeup

[sammi d @macklesam]

make sure to beat a bigot today!

[sammi d @macklesam]

umami this, umami that, how about talking to YOU mommy again? she misses her child

[sammi d @macklesam]

taylor swift is the rupi kaur of the pop music world

[sammi d @macklesam]

whoever is praying on my downfall, can you please stop? i need a break