There’s literally nothing that we won’t deep fat fry. It’s also a fuckin miracle there’s a Scotsman alive over the age of 45. Best cuisine in the fuckin world
Possibly the best angle I've seen of Daizen Maeda's stunning goal against Rangers. Good scrapping by Maeda and McGregor to win the ball back at the start of the move.
NEW: 13-year-old Australian boy swims for four hours in cold and dangerous waters to save his mom and siblings who were swept into the ocean, says God is who got him to shore.
The family was on kayaks & paddleboards when they were swept about 2.5 miles out to sea.
After a conversation with his mother, Austin Appelbee decided he would swim back to shore to find help.
Appelbee says he prayed throughout the four-hour swim and told God he would get baptized if he made it out alive.
"I don't think it was actually me [swimming]... It was God the whole time. I kept on praying, kept on praying. I said to God, 'I'll get baptized.'"
"The waves are massive, and I have no life jacket on… I just kept thinking 'just keep swimming, just keep swimming,'" he said.
"And then I finally made it to shore, and I hit the bottom of the beach, and I just collapsed."
Appelbee says when he got to shore, he had to sprint for about a mile to find help.
According to AP, the family drifted 9 miles from Quindalup and spent 10 hours in the water.
When he reached the shore, Appelbee alerted authorities, who then sent out a helicopter to find his mom, 12-year-old brother, and 8-year-old sister.
Austin's mother, Joanne Appelbee, said one of the hardest decisions of her life was sending her son to shore.
"One of the hardest decisions I ever had to make was to say to Austin: 'Try and get to shore and get some help. This could get really serious really quickly,'" she said.
What a remarkable kid.
Video: 7 News.
John Ringham in classic Terry's Chocolate Orange advert from 1983 (Raiders of the Lost Ark parody)
Ha now who can remember this ad? It all looked brilliant and magical as a 4 year old at the time.😂Loved it! John Ringham was a brilliant character actor & I never forgot this ad!
A duck walked into a pub and ordered a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.
The barman looked at him and said, “Hang on! You're a duck!”
"I see your eyes are working,” replied the duck.
"And you can talk!!” exclaimed the barman.
"I see your ears are working, too.” said the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly. Sorry about that.” said the barman as he pulled the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many a ducks in this pub. What are you doing around this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road” explained the duck. "I'm a plasterer."
The flabbergasted barman couldn’t believe the duck and wanted to learn more but took the hint when the duck pulled a newspaper from his bag and proceeded to read it.
The duck read his paper, drank his beer, ate his sandwich, paid up, bid the barman a good day and left.
The same thing happened every few days for two weeks.
Then one day the circus came to town.
The ringmaster walked into the pub for a pint and the barman said, "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"
"Sounds marvelous!” said the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call."
The next day when the duck came into the pub the barman said, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."
“Swell. I’m always looking for the next job.” said the duck. "Where is it?”
"At the circus.” said the barman.
"The circus?" repeated the duck.
"That's right.” replied the barman.
"The circus?” the duck asked again.
“With the big tent?”
"Yeah.” the barman replied.
"With all the animals that live in cages and performers who live in caravans?" asked the duck.
"Of course,” the barman replied.
"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persisted the duck.
"That's right.” said the barman.
The duck shook his head in amazement, and said “What the fuck would they want with a plasterer?”
I fell in love with this sentence:
As you grow older, you begin to understand: your father was just a man trying his best with what he knew. Forgive him. He was living life for the first time, too.
Nancy, his backroom team and Tisdale have to go tonight.
Reinstate Maloney, McManus & Fotheringham as the coaching team, and O’Neill as the figurehead if he’s still up for it.
Then we need to get to work on emptying this board of directors.
Big game tomorrow in Scotland … the Old Firm: Celtic v Rangers.
Good time to post this, my Celtic/Rangers joke. Recorded at Blackfriars in Glasgow … you can see the audience getting nervous. ✌️
The problem with today’s world is that everyone believes they have the right to express their opinion and have others listen to it.
The correct statement of individual rights is that everyone has the right to an opinion, but, crucially, that opinion can be roundly ignored and even made fun of, particularly if it is demonstrably nonsense.
― Brian Cox