macy

“That’s what she said” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Allison O'Conor @allisonoconor]

Do y’all think Snoop and Martha ever came close and then stopped themselves like we can’t we’re business partners

[🇵🇦Jess🇵🇷 @lovinmygirls218]

Some kids pranked a school board meeting on some Bart Simpson shit and I am crying!! 😭😭😭😭

[MORALLY FLEXIBLE @EchoXray4]

What the heck is the difference between a Left and Right tampon??

[Michael Gary Scott, Dunder Mifflin (Parody) @Da_MichaelScott]

If a baby were president, there would be no taxes. There would be no war.

[. @SuiNeltwork]

rides aren’t working. just set out some milk crates

[macy @macyparker]

Pete Davidson is so hot

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

I have a book coming out Tuesday. It's called BILLY SUMMERS. I think it's a good one.

[Min Ronnie Wang⁷ᵍᵒᵗ⁷ @GOTBTSBEYBITCH]

Y’all remember when Kris Jenner thought Beyoncé dressed up as her for Halloween? 😭😭😭😭😭 I know she was embarrassed

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

You know those peanut butter-filled cheese crackers, like Nabs? I wonder what GOURMET cheese crackers would be like.

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

Or consider Donald Trump: a supremely shitty human being with no talent at all.

[. @SuiNeltwork]

Made $45,000 off a family of four

[macy @macyparker]

@StephenKing occupies all of my free time. Best. Author. Ever. thx 4 being swell

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

How do you spot a blind man at a nudist beach?

It’s not hard.