Maddie Orton

[Soleil @soleiljolina]

Microdosing hell by being aware and literate

[Shrek @Shrek]

Y’all mind if an ogre speaks a little español tonight?

[microplastics rectifier @facetedcarapace]

Why did we let the Mormons have such a beautiful state. They deserve Kansas not Utah

[josephine @notnonicegal]

Driving home with my pants unbuttoned and my belly hanging out

[big honkin caboose @itsbighonkin]

warm sourdough bread with butter is NOT safe around me

[𝜗𝜚 footfreakk ♪‧₊˚ @Mlvp32]

how to lose weight no work out fast food included

[Ms.K @mskmalibu]

showering at night is so sexy and clean and self care vibes. showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core

[lez usbourne @SZSPIRIA]

I feel bad for that monkey but I lowkey have to focus on myself right now

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

I’m a little surprised the USA isn’t doing better in the Winter Olympics after spending the last year proving how great they are at going downhill

[Colyn @colynelliott]

so this just ruined my day

[Luke Sampe @LukeSampe]

I must tell you - we gain 77 minutes of daylight in the next 28 days.

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

Aliens (completely bewildered): so the groundhog

Me: is clairvoyant, yes

[芽依 @Mei22542]

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how big or small

[ran ✶ @youag4in]

JANUARY ISNT OVER UNTIL I FINISH THIS BOOK

[Gina Acosta @ginacostag_]

Final interview.
They ask: "What's your biggest weakness?"
Your mind races.

You say "I'm a perfectionist."
They cringe. No callback.

Here's the answer that lands offers:

[Harry Styles. @Harry_Styles]

It's not about the Money money money,We don't need your Money money money..We just wanna make the World Dance..forget about The Pricetag :D

[President Snow @president_sn0w]

Harry Styles has been reaped for my next Hunger Games.

[Evan @daviddunn177]

This is all happening because Americans didn’t want a woman to be President.

[Trixie Mattel™ @trixiemattel]

the summer i stayed mid.