Martin Allen

I’M BLOODY BACK! Sometimes called The Magician but only because no one has a clue what I'm going to do next. Parody.

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

Question for Bees fans: shall I carry on tweeting as me at Eastleigh or hand this account to the new Barnet manager?

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

Even got him to change his name to Ricky n all to go along with it - nice try Tone 😂

[Tony Kleanthous.... (parody) @kleanthous_tony]

Here is Ricky Bartlett, (called Richard Bartlett back then), working for TIC as we open the medical centre at The Hive in April 2018 that we charge our own players to use. He's been around for a while but I'm pretending that he's not involved in the previous fiasco. #TwitterIdiot

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

Texted Tony K this morning offering Monty the Dog to the Bees today. He’s got some bite, runs around a lot and isn’t bad at carrying the ball - unlike any of these jokers. Reply came: “He’s got no discipline”. I said yeah he’ll fit right in with your lot then Tone!

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

Maybe stick to running them chicken restaurants eh Tone - even Jude Stirling would walk into this team and he’s at least 62! This lot are an even bigger mess than me flower beds 🙈@kleanthous_tony

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

@BarnetAkela @kleanthous_tony Also Tone what are these 612 missed calls?? Was having a kip!

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

@BarnetAkela @kleanthous_tony Nothing to do with me mate I’m busy with the garden and Monty the Dog!

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

With training methods like that, ain’t surprised there’s so many injuries

[Barnet FC 🐝 @BarnetFC]

🗣 "I want every player that pulls on the amber jersey to run through a brick wall."

Tim Flowers sets out his ambitions, in his first interview as our new manager 🤝

#BarnetFC 🐝 | #WelcomeFlowers

https://t.co/UVRW1sbQO1

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

I ain’t interested - Monty the Dog needs me and there’s too much potting up to be done in the shed. I told Tony K just give the bleedin job to @rubycurrie, chuck him a proper budget and a big box of Haribo and let the man get on with it!

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

4. The bloody bar still doesn’t stock bleeding Haribo!!

[Jim Kavanagh @Jimbokav1971]

TK. You have 3 major failings as club Chairman.

1. The way you treat staff makes them feel undervalued.
2. The way you communicate in general is poor, but especially with supporters is appalling.
3. You are rubbish at recruiting Managers. You just lost the Dream team.

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

Bollocks sorry Twitter - that was supposed to be a text to Mr Kleanthous.

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

Hello!!!!

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

My pre-match message was edited down. What I actually said is: Grimsby is an amazing cultural hub with a delicious fragrance of freshly-grilled seafood, Barnet supporters should go and cheer on Stevenage today, and our relegation was certain the minute we released Clovis Kamdjo.

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

Bloody hell it really does smell of fish

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

Are we playing Grimsby next week??? No one told me! Bloody hell.

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

Really pleased with what I saw in todays 45-minute Attackers V Defenders session! Looking forward to tomorrow’s game against Forest Green!

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

Hahahaha well Tony Pony that’ll serve you right for not giving me a contract in 2012! His face when I showed him that team selection 😂😂😂👌👌👌

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

Oh. I just got it.

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

My wife sent me this.
I said: “What?”
She said: “It’s John Akinde!”
I said: “What?”

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

Sometimes I think she’s as barking as Monty the Dog!!!!!!! And it’s me they call Mad - ha ha ha

[Martin Allen @maddogmartinbfc]

@CarlaDevine1 😥