💀maddy💀

[💀maddy💀 @maddychilner]

So my gramma wants me to go get the mail before her physical therapist gets here bc she wants her to walk to the mail box today🙄🙄 lazy ass😂

[.lia @zukoslightning]

sǝop ʇᴉ ǝdoɥ ǝɹns I ɥɐǝʎ ɥ∩ https://t.co/qIgxAodeps

[KB @kbnoswag]

I hate flexing on twitter but I just finessed a crockpot and a ouija board from my neighbor’s garage sale for only $10 if anyone wants to come over and summon evil spirits while I slow cook vegetable stew for us

[💀maddy💀 @maddychilner]

Ugh why is time going by so slow I’m just trying to go to urgent care @ 7 am why they gotta open at 10🤒

[dunko @DavidDunkovich]

I gotta get this off my chest. I accidentally served a lady spinach artichoke dip thinking it was broccoli & cheddar soup. she ate the whole thing and said it was one of her favorite soups she's ever had

[jake @Jerk_Martin]

updated list of famous men we can still trust:
Tom Hanks
Denzel Washington
Doug Dimmadome
Anderson Cooper
The dog from Air Bud
Guy Fieri
Jake from State Farm
Topher Grace
The guys from Impractical Jokers
Danny Phantom
Donald Glover
Dwayne Johnson
Toucan Sam

[meech @meechdotjpeg]

these the crackheads of dog https://t.co/LS8ycrKvBw

[vicki minaj @hotgirldumbass]

ladies you have $15 to spend on the perfect man

$300 - works out
$200 - smart
$400 - smells nice
$70 - has a job
$10 - has frosted tips
$5 - is rollin out looking for America’s greatest diners, drive-ins, and dives
$500 - over 6 feet tall

[Mista Bouchi @AbutiGatvol]

Turtle neck all year round.. lets wipe em out. https://t.co/yteQEBzYja

[🔮 @Cosmicenergy_]

Pluto is now officially in retrograde, for the next 5 months this will be bringing a new outlook on something that we feel really needs a restart, this is a time of rebirth and to look at our mistakes as new opportunities to learn from.

[💀maddy💀 @maddychilner]

@alexalappe_96 What the fuck Christian???

[Snoop Dogg @SnoopDogg]

Don’t forget to leave milk and cookies out 4 me tonite! #420eve

[💀maddy💀 @maddychilner]

i’m actively applying for jobs while on break at my job😅

[PHLEGM @faguettte]

tomorrow is Friday the 13th and national kiss day and if I don’t get kissed or murdered I’ll be very disappointed