me: hello i would like some spinach. just a normal amount for a normal person
grocery store: yea right. bet u love spinach u little spinach freak. here's a fucking brick of spinach. a literal bathtub full. u have 3 days to eat it all before it goes bad
boiled the last of my macaroni with a new box of rigatoni and the kitchen has descended into fucking chaos. the macaroni is overcooked and the rigatoni is undercooked. pissed off italians are crawling thru the vents. my parents are getting a divorce