mads

she/her — 5’2 (6’3 in socks)

[milk @milkstrology]

💘🍫 sagittarius risings: new moon in aquarius 2/9 moodboard horoscope 🍫💘

[mads @madisonslamb]

This is a public service announcement for anyone who wants to have a spiritual experience: listen to sextape by Deftones I’m begging

[mads @madisonslamb]

I just need y’all to know that this song we play for preschoolers is a genuine masterpiece, it’s truly the best part of my day and I sit there entranced with the 3-4 year olds https://t.co/iat7tkS76p

[mads @madisonslamb]

@call_me__liz It haunts me

[mads @madisonslamb]

Thinking about the one time @call_me__liz and I were at a house party and didn’t want to wait for the main bathroom so we used the en suite bathroom and found such a large variety of sex toys we could fully sponsor a swingers club 🫡

[mads @madisonslamb]

We absolutely do not talk often enough about the 2006 movie masterpiece that is Barnyard

[mads @madisonslamb]

It’s come to my attention that I have been seriously mislead about the size of wombats

[mads @madisonslamb]

sure my siblings and I used to give each other the silent treatment for months and quietly manipulate each other

but now we text to remind each other to wish family members a happy birthday so I’d say we turned out fine

[mads @madisonslamb]

My toxic trait is thinking I can do a handstand after precisely one sip of alcohol

I have literally never been able to do a handstand in my entire life

[Reed4Speed @reedbartonmusic]

Gretchen Wilson : let me get a big hell yeah from the redneck girls like me !

6 year old me : Hell YEAH

[mads @madisonslamb]

3 years ago today, I discovered I am allergic to peaches

[mads @madisonslamb]

One of my new neighbors has a red white and blue yard sign that says “politicians are temporary, wu-tang is forever!”

I just know they’d give me a cup of sugar if I asked 🥹

[The Recount @therecount]

Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO) — who raised his fist in support of the Capitol insurrectionists earlier in the day — runs for his life from the rioters inside the building in never-before-seen video.

[crispin long @crispinoblong]

I think it’s cute when a straight man calls his friend who is very normal “an absolute legend” because he likes him and they have a nice time together

[mads @madisonslamb]

I’m gonna get drunk on Mother’s Day and no one can stop me

[mads @madisonslamb]

I haven’t touched my ukulele in literal years, so tell me why I just got so hyperfixated on that thang that I learned 4 new songs

Never let yourself know your next move

[mads @madisonslamb]

I’ll be honest, when I manifested lucid dreaming last night I wasn’t expecting a lucid dream where I had to watch someone get sh0t point blank

[zou bisou bisou where are you @lilgrapefruits]

lot of bones to pick with the british but they were right about how to spell grey