maea

bart simpson fanpage

[maea @maea8719]

i was buying a homeless man some food but a yellow car passed so i punched him a little #iwin

[maea @maea8719]

when you lowk pee shy but it hits laminar flow and is quiet asf💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥🔥🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[maea @maea8719]

when i met my bf for the first time i was wanting to be cool but he’s from boston and im from vt so i kept falling on the subway

[maea @maea8719]

did anyone else have crazy beef stemmed from pure jealousy with angelica hale as a kid

[maea @maea8719]

there has never been a liquid blush that’s better than any powder blush

[maea @maea8719]

@NoahKahan how are you so good at twitter

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

You’re gonna go far tonight queen?

[maea @maea8719]

broke no contact to tell her i saw her opps and they have terrible haircuts

[maea @maea8719]

these target mannequins have such beautiful normal bodies

[maea @maea8719]

i’m so tired my children will inherit this exhaustion #itsgenerational

[maea @maea8719]

any salad can be turned into an $11 artisanal sandwich

[maea @maea8719]

went to get a new account number and the teller said “wow you are the most hacked person at m&t bank”

[julia @evilestjuju]

if you don’t know what to talk to a white girl about ask her about summer camp

[maea @maea8719]

they did NOT call me back

[maea @maea8719]

just left a voicemail for the city and started it with “hi it’s maya” as if they know who i am
fml i hope they don’t call me back

[maea @maea8719]

sat on a bench this week and it just kept going down and the legs snapped

[maea @maea8719]

@salzairpdz i almost crashed and you immediately hop on twitter

[maea @maea8719]

“i would give you the moon”
what the hell am i supposed to do with the moon i don’t think i even have the space for it

[maea @maea8719]

professional party pooper