Mae Dallal

addicted to chapstick and espresso martinis

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

#2: find a group of French boys at the club (preferably more than there are of you so you don’t pair up). They’re great energy, speak little to no English, will keep the creepy boys away, share gum, fans and sunglasses, dance shamelessly, and keep it completely appropriate

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

Now that I’ve survived my first Ibiza trip, I have the following pro tips no one asked for

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

#1: befriend your hotel ticket salesman. He’ll sell you sold out tickets & provide contact info for promoters to get on guest lists. Even better, he’ll sell you drugs! He’ll have you come over to hangout & pick them up, he’ll even bring them to work to save you the trouble

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

Just found out that rabbits can swim. Also learned their ears go into swim mode when they do. This is important news.

[T-Pain @TPAIN]

That’s love, pull up any time bruh

Check in on your people 🙏🏿

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

Pineapple spindrift = 🚮

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

In a nutshell

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

My mom yelled at me for posting this :( https://t.co/axa2JSp13K

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

This issue causing me strife daily

[hatsune mitski @zephanijong]

what is the psychology behind men not acknowledging half of what you text them

[Rob Mac @RMcElhenney]

Thank you @ChelseaFC !!!! Hopefully we’ll see you again in 5 years or so :)

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

@AlaskaAir but this is a 6 hour cross-country flight… I have work I need to catch up on 😩

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

Send help

[trash jones @jzux]

everyone i know in their late 20s is having an existential crisis because we skipped our mid 20s in the pandemic. relationships fast-tracked, careers faltered, we lost those core identity-building years and now we feel like 23-year-old brains in bodies approaching 30

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

EW I’m catching feelings because I caught flights EW

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

Ok but why am I attracted to Jake Tapper? Is it solely because his name is Jake? Surely not.

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

I miss Florence 😭

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

Life comes at you so fast during yacht week

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

My new hobby is listening to voice prompts on hinge while I’m in Italy

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

Teenage boys are so weird looking

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

Flying to Italy with a guy for a week, going Greece with a crew of people for yacht week, staying back in Athens then popping back over to Italy with two other guys, then meeting back up and flying back home with the original guy… I think this is my Mamma Mia moment

[Mae Dallal @maedallal]

Sometimes you almost hook up with a a rando Austrian osteo bro in a Liverpool themed pub in Richmond, VA. Sometimes. Almost.