MAGA Explained

I’m just a translator.

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@magachrchpastr @capmotion 100% chance this guy buys his suits of the rack.

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It’s not about the rising cost of energy, or the rise of inflation. It’s not about a never ending war. It’s not about the extreme deficit. And this might sound controversial, but it’s not even about Hunter Biden’s laptop.

It’s really about a giant ballroom. Simple as that.

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@magachrchpastr All Michelle is saying is Minnesota is a frozen tundra in the winter, and mosquito-infested cesspool in the summer. She also doesn’t like the people who were dumb enough to elect Tim Walz. But hey…she wants your vote this November so she can get the fuck out that shithole.

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@KurtRecknagle77 @magachrchpastr *Einstein.

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@Pencil5515 @magachrchpastr Let me explain, Caroline. In the pastor’s defense, anyone who graduated summa from a 2-year unaccredited Bible school and invented the pastoral side hug has to be pretty smart. But sometimes impossible to discern whether an account is a parody.

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@stormtrooperarc @GeeOPeeAuthor @magachrchpastr Hi, jefe. Welcome aboard!

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@Cesioz @magachrchpastr Let me translate this into English.

Lorenzo agrees with the Pastor and my translation of what the Pastor said, but he believes the President should jail any reporter who asks a stupid question.

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@Sleepyx70285401 @magachrchpastr “Bots? I can personally verify the pastor is real. He once flew me to his Aspen home to translate his last book using my seer stone which was written entirely in tongues. The pastor still disputes my translation of Chapter 6, but the stone has never issued a correction.

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@Darren2ya @magachrchpastr I don’t think, Darren. I translate. I recently translated the Federalist Papers from its original Greek and learned many anti-Federalists agreed with your opinion of the 1st Amendment. They were quickly rounded up and shot by Aaron Burr.

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@DMCrawford13 @magachrchpastr Allow to explain, Devin. I’m not a bot. I’m a translator.

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@therealMSGLUVA @NotATrumpFan01 @magachrchpastr Buster, let me explain. Martin Luther King Jr. famously said, “Free speech means every American has the right to say whatever the President thinks.”

Check and mate!

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@magachrchpastr @OpenMin98895295 As the Greek philosopher Parodicles once said, “Satire is only confusing when it works.”

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@riverbaby17 @cflekken70 @magachrchpastr Beachgirl - I’m a MAGA translator - not some sort of Federalist or Whig, So my opinion of this might be off, but it seems obvious that this clearly prohibits CONGRESS, not the President, from establishing religion prohibiting free speech. So this doesn’t apply to the President.

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@riverbaby17 @cflekken70 @magachrchpastr Let me explain, Beachgirl. It’s in the original Constitution, written in cursive. Unfortunately, a lot of the meaning was lost when they changed it to regular handwriting. Also, I don’t know who “Gezz” is, but if he’s a Nazi, I want nothing to do with him.

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@cflekken70 @magachrchpastr Buddha, let me explain:

First: you don’t need to announce your pronoun before stating an opinion.

Second: I’m just a translator. If you don’t like my translation of the Constitution, take it up with Ben Franklin, who wrote the whole thing.

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Freedom of the press protects the government from being questioned by the press. Reporters may repeat the President’s words exactly as spoken, but checking whether they’re true is censorship because facts are just opinions with an attitude.

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@magachrchpastr All the pastor is saying is if you can’t drum up $25 for event parking, Jesus still loves you - but he’ll love you more at the Episcopal church down the street.

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Nobody loves immigrants more than MAGAs. We love their food, their labor and their willingness to work for wages we oppose raising. We just draw the line at them being here. 🇺🇸

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@Eeelpout @magachrchpastr Doug, let me explain. You know that girlfriend you have who lives in Canada? That’s how real this pastor is.