Call me Maggie

Queer | Canadian | eat the rich | (she/they)

[Call me Maggie @maggie__pei]

I'm in the therapy waiting room with a girl I went on a date with and desperately trying to avoid eye contact

[Smriii @smriiis_reading]

girls say goodnight & then read the most unhinged and absolutely questionable books known to mankind

[M. 💌 | HR | royally married @yrs_on_purpose]

my new hc is that Yuna and David start sneaking pictures of Shane and Ilya together since they know the boys don’t keep any themselves. And Yuna’s very type a about it—everything gets transferred to an external drive that’s kept safe.

They gift them the drive as a wedding gift.

[Mrs humphrey Bogart @Cocolasvegass]

you've heard of Elf on the Shelf but have you heard of using your fcking blinker

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

do you think dogs have an understanding of the passage of time and the cyclical nature of seasons or does my dog just wake up every morning of her life and think “I wonder if today’s the day that lunatic drags a whole fir tree in here again”

[chris! @fruityciinema]

i’m gonna be defending shane hollander with a gun in one hand and shooting myself in the head over depressed ilya with the other

[Медельин 🧸🇵🇸 @Medellinski_]

evergreen.

[star @tgirleddie]

like jesus showing up to church

[r @6ffside]

i mean this is quite possibly the funniest thing to show a habs home crowd when the team is down 3-0 . like hey to make matters worse—your fictional captain is hooking up with the fictional captain of the boston bruins

[🫧🐟 @SUPERTUNAMELT]

the way he only ever smiles like this after shane does something only shane would do, like folding his clothes when he undresses, answering a sext with something cluelessly earnest, or preparing an entire strip of condoms for their first time PLEASEEEE legendary downbadism

[steph @hxllanov]

me opening my phone on public transport because every other tweet is shane getting his ass clapped

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

I think if a government has online beef with a pop star it has aleady lost

[Jiggly News 🇨🇦 @JigglyPants44]

Canada wants you to hold their beer

[mer @hollanovy]

5 page monologue with a love confession i fear it will leave no survivors

[J Hunter🍁 @MrJoKeR604]

Fair, now imagine being Canadian.

You're across the ocean, we're living above the crack house.

[Cam 💖💜💙🏳️‍⚧️ @AbnormalAmanda]

Reminds me of when the Philly player calls him the f slur and he shrugs and thinks “it’s half right”

[Luke Heeney @heeney_luke]

I love grad school but also a flight home for Christmas is 10% of my annual post-tax income

[jack 🔥🏒🦈 @whorellanov]

Ilya SMILING IN THE BOTTOM ONE

[M. 💌 | HR | royally married @yrs_on_purpose]

Watching Ilya break down because he doesn’t want shane to judge his mom for falling victim to her depression WILL alter the course of my life

[Vivian @suchnerve]

solid candidate for Tweet of the Decade for the 2010s btw