maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

I need to get something off my chest: you couldn’t pay me to watch Hamilton

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

@clhubes The plot makes zero sense, the music slaps

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

Ask me how often I cry thinking about Zoe starting kindergarten (a year from now) 🙃🥲😭🥺

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

The cool thing about breastfeeding is that even when your baby finally starts sleeping better your boobs are like “oh great time to get a clog that keeps you up all night 😌”

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

Happy “thanks for making me a mama” day to all those who celebrate

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

I need the world to know that Otto has 3 bottom teeth and 1 top tooth and no signs of any others coming

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

I joined a local book club hoping it would help me get back into reading and omg the first book is truly the most boring thing I’ve ever read. I give up, tiktok you win again!!!

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

Would just like to say that things took a RAPID decline after this and I learned my lesson 🤐🤐🤐

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

I can’t believe it’s August because I truly don’t know how we survived June and July with a toddler and a newborn 😅 Things are on the up and up, though!

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

@umichbball can you plz tell me if the Red Panda is performing at any games this season? My toddler became completely obsessed after seeing her perform in January of this year and we’d love to bring her back to see red panda (and the wolverines, of course!!) 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

How does Otto know the exact moment I have just fallen asleep every night???? I’m not even exaggerating he wakes up the SECOND I fall asleep!!!!!! Babies are so good and also so bad

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

First kid: no screen time until she turned 2
Second kid:

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

Otto has been mobile for approximately 24 hours and Zoe is already running around whining about him “ruining” all her toys he keeps finding and chewing on 🙃

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

Every wedding I go to, the bread basket is at the other side of the table from me and I am FAMISHED and no one fuckin passes it around!!! What is up with that!!! It’s BREAD! It’s so good! Open ‘er up! Pass ‘er around!

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

@clhubes Zoe is so doting on Otto and loves him so much but still smacks him, pushes him, or yanks him and makes him cry several times a day lol. Toddlers suck and those posts never tell the full truth!!

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

Yes

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

I can’t believe it’s August because I truly don’t know how we survived June and July with a toddler and a newborn 😅 Things are on the up and up, though!

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

@mattmelvin14 I did it for Zoe too so I had some good go-tos, but always open to more yummy ideas!!

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

It should be a crime to be dairy free in the summer. Especially when it’s because of your BABY and not even you!!!!! Otto let me eat ICE CREAM

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

This smoggy air can suck it cuz I just coughed while wearing the sleeping baby and startled the shit out of him lol

[maggie honeyman🍯👨🏻 @maggiesweird]

Avoiding eye contact with Otto as he beams at me at 3am while I’m getting ready to feed him 🤣 Sorry son, must not engage!!! Ily tho