Mag

[Mag @magheathbourne]

@LotionDolphin Red pilling myself straight to my March 2001 coma

[Mag @magheathbourne]

@ebysta Fr, talking about it around other people and then actually getting engaged opened my eyes to how many people look at this like "when I propose to my partner I hope they say yes because I have no idea what they want or if our goals align at all"

[Mag @magheathbourne]

@kierstenwones why do I know the EXACT house you're talking about

[Mag @magheathbourne]

@LotionDolphin the exact environment any white dude on 90 Day Fiance sees himself in a day into his trip to any non-American country

[Mag @magheathbourne]

every single day I wear bike shorts and a sweatshirt and earrings and when the work day is over I take off the earrings. is this normal y/n

[BOYEEEce carol oates @neilspataro]

┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
╱╱╭╮╲╲house
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
make wooloowooloowooloo noises
at cats who are in a hurry
(it's the sound their legs make)
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

[rax ‘levon honkers’ king @RaxKingIsDead]

imagine a fig newton as big as a party sub

[Mag @magheathbourne]

one of my students has informed me he would like to make 6 figures right out of college and if I have any advice for him. My man, you are quite literally in my second job

[Mag @magheathbourne]

@LotionDolphin is that...a thong?

[Mag @magheathbourne]

@neilspataro @LotionDolphin Only difference is our cat would be yelling back

[Mag @magheathbourne]

@nswartsell was just riding on Whitfield yesterday about a half block behind a UC shuttle. Someone got very mad, honked & zoomed around me, and within 10 seconds we were both stopped behind the same shuttle 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Mag @magheathbourne]

@neilspataro I am Fun and Not Stupid to live with

[Mag @magheathbourne]

@kierstenwones Thank you! Black Fern on Court, highly recommend!

[Mag @magheathbourne]

posting my new tattoo on all my socials because I am both Annoying and Very Pleased With It

[Mag @magheathbourne]

@ebysta good! vibes! good! vibes!

[BOYEEEce carol oates @neilspataro]

koalas look like albert einstein

[Mag @magheathbourne]

learned something really unexpected about myself during this move and that is that I apparently black out when packing knives. logic fully out the window. neil has discovered loose bags of knives I packed, I thought safely, no fewer than 3x

[Mag @magheathbourne]

me at work listening to David Byrne sing about Pizza Hut

[Rafi Schwartz @TheJewishDream]

Lyn-Lake in Minneapolis, via my wife’s coworker