Michaela Connelly

As the saying goes...I'm a classy, well educated, intelligent woman who says fuck a lot.

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

#PiDay is tomorrow! Who to choose...?
@pizzahut @dominos @PapaJohns @hungryhowies @littlecaesars

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

I give up trying to fix this myself. @GetSpectrum helpppp!

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

Are the purpose of areolas to act as landing zones? #showerthoughts

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

Can people stop vacationing in my town? It's fucking up my Tinder. #tinder #Florida

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

Tyson. Wtf?!

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

Do people watch the #SuperBowl even if they don't care about the teams in the game?

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

I've never been disappointed in @ChickfilA before but... I should have checked my order before I drove off but I didn't want to be *that* person.

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

@kathleenmadigan IDK how to message you privately! I'll be at your show tonight. My grandma had surgery and is unable to go. Will you sign a get well card for her?

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

@kathleenmadigan I'm going to your show tonight. My grandma wanted to go BADLY but just had surgery. Will you sign a get well card for her?

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

It's weird that right now saying you had eggs for breakfast is some kind of flex. #Egg #eggflation #eggs

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

@UberFacts Not to brag but I could probably make like 15 bars of soap, easy.

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

@maxbemis I got my song like 8 years ago. Now I need a new song about how I didn't learn the lesson from the first song.

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

@7eleven Vanilla Ice already offered to solve them.

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

I finally finished watching #wednesday and my biggest takeaway is #AjaxPetropolus is hot.

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

I'm on episode 3 of The Patient and I really hope Kenny Chesney appears in the finale and talks Sam out of murder. Or Sam murders Kenny. Those are the only endings I will accept. #ThePatient #ThePatientHulu

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

I can't help but think that when the Queen started having medical problems that Charles started singing "I Just Can't Wait To Be King" from Lion King.
#QueenElizabeth #KingCharles

[Michaela Connelly @magpiemmc]

The dermatologist said there was concerning mole under my breast flap. #oldwoman