Tommy Martin

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

It's always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That’s ridiculous. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

Turkey can never beat cow. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

No home is complete without a proper toolbox. Here's April and Andy's: A hammer, a half eaten pretzel, a baseball card, some cartridge that says Sonic and Hedgehog, a scissor half, a flashlight filled with jellybeans. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

Breakfast food can serve many purposes. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

I'm going to get 12 eggs and part of a dead animal. Dealer's choice. Please and thank you. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

Go back to the library where you belong. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

Say what you want about organized religion, but those bastards knew how to construct an edifice. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

I change my locks every 16 days. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

The three most useless jobs in the world in order are: lawyer, congressman, and doctor. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

If it doesn’t have meat, it’s a snack. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel toed boot. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

Once a year, every branch of this government meets in a room and announces what they intend to waste taxpayer money on. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

There has never been a sadness that can’t been cured by breakfast food. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

Don't waste energy moving unless necessary. #RonSwansonQuote

[Tommy Martin @mahtin9702]

What's cholesterol? #RonSwansonQuote