Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G.

Hi, I'm a stand-up comedian sharing songwriting journey as a student at Berklee Online College. Visit for more writings.

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

Moon shines on my lonely heart
Everything is bright like daylight
But I can't see you'll ever be mine

#songwriting #lyricwriting
https://t.co/rsNbeSf7pd

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

Pity puppy, why are you so sweet to me
Clingy doggy, glad you have no boundary
Hug me, kiss me, make the lonely disappear

#songwriting #lyricwriting
https://t.co/rsNbeSf7pd

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

I wanna be the peanut topping on your sweet ice cream
Yes it’s just another one of my dreams
But I’m allergic to peanut, you scream..

#songwriting #lyricwriting
https://t.co/rsNbeSf7pd

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

I long for every peach season

Hanging out, tasting peach ice cream

Spitting peach soda when we laugh

Until we meet again next season

https://t.co/rsNbeSf7pd

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

My very first verse, written after my first week in a lyric writing course:

I stopped the kiss to catch my breath.
My heart skipped a beat I’d never known before.
Then we looked at the starry sky.
You said you were the luckiest guy.

https://t.co/rsNbeSf7pd

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

Work bench: An unsung hero of every household, sits quietly in the garage, patiently waiting to be hammered, pounded, clamped, and battered as people repair everything else in the home. Much like an operation hospital bed, never asks for recognition.

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

I just wrote my first note on Substack, my new platform for longer writings. Check it out: https://t.co/C7gfvVWTRt

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

Propeller sucks up all the guts and innards inside the engine to create a source of energy strong enough to pull the whole chaotic mass of machinery up to the sky. Yet they cannot see the blue sky and white cloud, only the propeller can enjoy the cool breeze it creates itself.

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

Object writing, 90 secs: Balloon
Happily floats across the blue sky flashing with sunlight making the children exclaim in excitement UFO UFO. The boy wishes the wind carry it to the lands where he wants to visit one day without the need to wish to the shooting star.
#songwriting

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

My first class at Berklee Online has officially started, and this is our textbook. 🎶📚

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

People think I started acting crazy because of my divorce. They don’t realize I just used it as an excuse to finally show my authentic self. 🤪
#standupcomedy

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

I read somewhere it says I think like a man but feel like a woman. With that mentality, I’m looking to date a feminine guy to balance out my Yang brain.
The zodiac says Pisces men are the most sensitive. Any #Pisces in the house?
#jokes #standupconedy

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

I’m old-school. If you’re dating me, you need to bring me flowers regularly. I don’t care if you pick them yourself from the park.💐
-better yet, own a flower shop.
Too feminine? Own ten and have people run them for you.
I like entrepreneurs too.😉
#standup #jokes

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

My pet peeve is men who don’t keep their promises. There are plenty of fish and I don’t have to settle for those, they belong to be on a sushi plate, yum!
#standupcomedy

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

Just deleted my accent training app. If you have problem with my Vietnamese accent,
#suckit 👻

#standupcomedy

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

My therapist said I should stop being submissive, so now my dates walk around calling me Boss.
What a big improvement!
#jokes #standupcomedy

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

My therapist said I should date outside of my type, so now I’m looking for Bob The Builder!
-Tired of white collars who can’t do sh!t around the house.
-I run rental properties for Pete’s sake.

#standupcomedy

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

Study says that men reach their full emotional maturity at 43. I’m changing the filter on dating apps right now!
- But it’s still weird because I was a mommy to men who are older.
-Ok, I’m going raising the age limit in the filter to…I don’t know…dating sucks!😂
#standupcomedy

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

Just got booked for a photoshoot in 2 days and I’m having breakouts. I’m sorry mom for not listening to you to drink more water… 🙏
Bye guys, I’m going to have a 48 hour beauty sleep now. 🛌
#standupcomedy

[Ms. Saigon - Mai L.G. @mailgcomedy]

On a #dating app, this person blocked me after accusing me of being fake because I didn’t reply to his 'hello' message. So now, whenever I hear someone complain about there are many #fake profiles out there, I know exactly what's going on.
#standupcomedy